Live Like You Were Dying
by WhatTheF-ckHaveYouDoneLately
Summary: Of all the things Nick Cutter thought he may die from, cancer was not one of them. His entire life has been turned upside down, and he finds himself turning to the only person that truly understands him, Claudia Brown. He finds love a little too late.
1. I'm Sorry For Blaming You

"_I spent most of the next days looking at the X-rays, talking 'bout the options, talking 'bout sweet times." _~Tim McGraw

**Nick's P.O.V.**

"I can't believe this," I whispered as I stared at the X-rays.

"I am terribly sorry," the doctor said, resting a hand on my shoulder.

I felt like my entire world was falling out from under me. I felt like this was a all some terrible dream that I was about to wake up from. Yet how could the evidence in a dream look so real, so glaringly obvious? I couldn't deny it. It was real and solid, right in front of me. In general, I wasn't afraid of dying. I had known when I began working to find the solution to the anomalies that I was risking my life. I could be eaten, I could get trapped on the wrong end of an anomaly, all sorts of things. Though while I had long since accepted those risks, I had never expected to die from something like this.

Cancer. The word sounded foreign in my mind, for I had never even considered it, never really thought twice about it. Of all the things I had been thinking of lately, cancer hadn't even occurred to me. I had thought of Helen, Claudia, my team, even of wanting to wring Lester's neck one good time, but I had not thought of this. _Cancer,_ I mentally repeated to myself, still unable to fully wrap my mind around the fact that the term now applied to me. I was sick, terribly and fatally sick. _Suck it up and figure out the options, _I told myself, unburying myself from my thoughts.

"What kind of cancer are we talking about?" I asked the doctor. He had told me that I had it, but we had not discussed which kind yet.

"You have an Ependymoma tumor. It appears to be spinal. These tumors typically occur at a very young age, somewhere around five, and then reappear at approximately thirty-five. From reading your file, I see that this is the first time the tumor has shown up, which is quite strange, but not impossible. It has caused Syringomyelia, which-"

"Hold on. I appreciate the details, doctor, but could you just tell me what my options are and what kind of time I'm looking at?" I cut him off, unable to listen to the stream of confusing information any longer.

"You can talk to a neurologist about surgery, if you'd like. Normally, this isn't a fatal cancer, but…"

"But what?" I said, lifting my eyebrows.

"It has progressed much faster than usual. Surgery improves your odds, but I am very sorry to say that as long as it has gone untreated, it is very possible that it has become fatal," he said, staring down at the copy of the MRI scan on his clipboard.

"I knew my back had been hurting and I'd been sweating more than usual, but I didn't pay it any mind," I said, somewhat to myself. _And now because you didn't see a doctor sooner, you're dying, _I thought cynically. I had finally came in after the past few weeks of sweating, aching, and trembling. I had just never expected the doctor to tell me what those symptoms added up to.

"With surgery, you have a good chance of bouncing back, but I can't make any guarantees," he said, shaking his head sympathetically.

"Thank you doctor," I said, getting up and leaving his office.

* * *

That night, as I lay awake in my bed, I thought over the day's events for the millionth time. I thought of the people I loved and how important they were to me. Stephen, my best friend. He was so headstrong, and he was a flirt, but he had a good heart. He was a damn good man. I then thought of Connor Temple. He was so young, and while he was naïve in some ways, he was the smartest person I had ever met in my life. I had started out not liking him at all, but after standing with him after his friend Tom had died, I had found myself unable to begrudge his sense of innocence. He had looked so sad, so broken when I'd embraced him like I would a son.

Helen. The name came into my thoughts unbidden. I didn't want to think of her, didn't want her in my mind, but there she was. I couldn't stop myself from thinking of her betrayal, of the fact she'd known I was alive and let me think she was dead. It startled me to fully come to the realization, but I once and for all decided I hated her. Even thinking of her made my stomach turn.

_Claudia…_my mind whispered. Another difficult subject to breach, even mentally. I cared about her, try as I might to deny it. She was the strongest, most intelligent, most beautiful woman I'd ever known. I could not stop myself from thinking of the way her long, ginger hair falls over her shoulders when she wears it down. My thoughts strayed to her deep brown eyes, and the way they seemed to see right through me. She understood me better than I did sometimes.

* * *

The next day, when I arrived at the Home Office to talk to Lester about the new anomaly, I felt a small pang at the sight of Claudia, who was sitting at her desk going over paperwork. She was looking down and thankfully didn't notice my staring, so I continued on to Lester's office. He was sitting in his chair, looking through a file that laid on his desk.

James Lester was the ever present -albeit well dressed- thorn in my side that worked at the Home Office and overlooked the Anomaly Operation. He and I had totally different opinions, two completely different personalities, and butted heads constantly, even over the most trivial of things. He preferred to sit in his nice air conditioned office and order people around, I preferred going out to an anomaly site to study the strange phenomena.

"Oh well look who's arrived. Shall I make arrangements for a welcome party?" he drawled sarcastically, leaning back in his chair and raising one eyebrow.

I was about to bite off a sharp retort when a piercing pain in my spine caused me to have to grasp the doorway of his office for support. It was a sharp, white hot pain that made me bite down on my lip to keep from making any noise. It slowly worked its way from my tailbone to the back of my neck, sending an unbelievable pain up and down my back. The doctor had warned me that, without treatment, the pain would get worse over time.

"Cutter, I know my sarcasm can be offensive, but that's a bit of an overreaction don't you think?" Lester said. When I looked up, he was on his feet and leaning against the front of his desk, staring at me with boredom.

"Oh my god, what's wrong?" Claudia asked me as she ran in to the office. She hovered by me worriedly, her brown eyes full of concern.

"Fine. I'm fine," I managed through gritted teeth as I pulled myself back upright, though I still held on tightly to the doorframe.

"Well, while that was terribly good fun, would anyone mind if got on with the meeting, or shall I have someone get Cutter a pacifier first ?" Lester said, looking between Claudia and I.

"You know what, Lester?" I said, letting go of the doorframe and walking over to him. My accent was becoming more pronounced with my anger, and I noticed Claudia stiffen at my tone.

"What?" he asked, folding his arms across his chest and also walking forward.

I clenched my hand into a fist, put all of my weight into it, and punched him. It was a good, hard punch to the nose, and it sent him reeling backwards. He stumbled back against his desk, clutching his bloodied nose. Blood stained his fingers, and his nose was satisfyingly crooked and obviously broken. I allowed myself a small smile as I assessed the damage. I had been wanted to hit him since we'd met.

"So, about that file?" I said, looking between him and Claudia, the latter unsuccessfully trying to hide a small smile. Of the many things she and I had in common, not liking Lester was one of them.

* * *

Later on that night, after a particularly exhausting anomaly incident, I was shocked to see a car outside my house when I arrived home. I could see a figure sitting on the steps waiting for me, and my brow furrowed as I pulled up and got out of my car. The porch light illuminated the features, and I felt a flicker of surprise when I saw Claudia.

"I'm sorry to be here so late, I just wanted to talk to you about something," she said, looking as immaculately dressed as always even at the late hour.

"It's fine, please come in," I said, unlocking the front door and holding it open for her.

"Thank you," she said, walking in and subtly glancing around.

"Can I get you some tea?" I offered, taking her jacket from her and hanging it on a hook by the door.

"That would be lovely, thanks," she nodded.

I came back from the kitchen a couple of minutes later with two cups of hot tea, and she and I sat down in the living room. She delicately perched on the edge of an armchair, and I sat down on the couch. She took a sip of her tea and then sat it back on the coaster on the coffee table, looking uncharacteristically uncomfortable. She twiddled with the hem of her pencil skirt, and my brow furrowed as I studied her.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"What happened today in Lester's office?" she asked abruptly, turning to fix her eyes on me.

"I decked him, for one," I said satisfactorily, happily recalling sending him reeling into his desk.

"I noticed. That's not what I mean, Nick, and you know that," she said, studied me with her overly perceptive gaze.

"It was just a little cramp, that's all," I shrugged, taking a drink of the too hot tea to avoid meeting her gaze.

"Dammit Cutter, what happened?" she demanded, her mile wide assertive streak flaring.

"Nothing," I said, sitting my tea down and finally looking at her.

"Why are you doing this, Nick? You can talk to me, you know," she said, her eyes full of concern.

"There's nothing to talk about," I shrugged, wanting to tell her and knowing I couldn't. I knew that people would treat me differently if they knew, that they would treat me like I was delicate.

"Yes, there _is_, tell me," she said, her accent flaring with her growing exasperation and worry.

"Stay out of it, Claudia. It's none of your business," I said sharply, hating the look of hurt that briefly crossed her features. Hurting her and pushing her away was the last thing I wanted to do, but all the same I couldn't tell her the truth.

"Fine. I'll see you tomorrow Cutter," she said, rising to her feet and pulling her jacket on before I could even get to my feet. She walked out, pulled the door closed behind her, and I was left alone. I knew I had angered and hurt her, and it killed me.

I stared after her, thinking, _I'm so sorry, Claudia. I'm so sorry I have to push you away…_

"_I'm sorry for blaming you, for everything I just couldn't do. And I've hurt myself by hurting you." _~Christina Aguilera

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Do I continue? Not continue? I am not sure about this fic yet. It actually is inspired by a video of Nick my sister made to the song "Live Like You Were Dying," so this first chapter is dedicated to her. Her username is drodgers89 and she writes and amazing Stephen/Abby fic called Elsewhere, be sure to check it out! BTW this is set roughly somewhere before the finale of season 1, before Claudia disappears.**

**Please review and tell me what you think!**


	2. I Went To Pick Up The Parts

"_How can I decide what's right, when you're clouding up my mind?" _~Paramore

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

The following morning, while I got a shower before work, I let myself think of the previous night. Nick hadn't at all been himself. He was hiding something, and I wanted to know what it was. He could push me away all he pleased, but I would figure out what was wrong with him. Whatever had happened in Lester's office had been far more than a "cramp," as he called it.

_Nick, why won't you talk to me?_ I thought as I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself. It wasn't like him to be so hostile, to be so abrupt. My thoughts were still drifting when my mobile - which I had left sitting on the counter beside the sink- rang, and I picked up to see that the caller ID read "Lester." _Oh what a lovely way to begin the day, _I thought cynically, answering the phone reluctantly.

"Hello?" I said, putting it on speaker and laying it on the counter as I got dressed.

"We have a small problem," he said.

"Which is what, exactly?" I asked.

"I'm not going to be at work today. I'm putting you in charge until I'm back," he explained.

"Why won't you be there?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips.

"Personal reasons," he said simply, and then hung up.

**Nick's P.O.V.**

"Come on, answer the damn door, you government hatchet man," I muttered irritably as I stood outside Lester's flat. I had just called the doctor a couple hours ago, and he needed me to figure out when I wanted to schedule the surgery. I needed to make sure leaving Stephen in charge for a couple of days wouldn't be a problem.

"Can I help you with something?" he said, coming to the door. I had to fight back laughter at the white bandage covering his nose. Apparently I'd done more damage than I'd thought.

"Yeah, actually," I said, crossing my arms and looking pointedly at the door.

"Oh, right. Come in," he sighed, stepping back.

I walked into the expensive flat and couldn't help but to take a look around at the place, finding myself surprised by the lack of personality. I saw no pictures, nothing that really even suggested someone lived here. The only thing that betrayed that the place was inhabited was the bookmarked hardcover novel laying on the coffee table.

"Did you actually need something or are you just here to admire the scenery?" Lester drawled in that infuriately sarcastic way of his.

"Can Stephen take over heading up the field team for a couple of days?" I asked.

"Why?" he asked suspiciously.

"I have some things I need to take care of," I replied flatly.

"I am not letting Stephen take over for a few days just so you can stay home and watch Pinky and The Brain reruns for ideas on taking over the world, Cutter," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"What's Pinky and The Brain?" I asked, my brow furrowing.

He shook his head exasperatedly. "A cartoon the kids watch. Oh never mind," he sighed, seeing my still puzzled look.

"I feel sorry for your kids," I said.

"Why is that?" he asked, folding his arms over his chest.

"The poor kids are related to _you_."

"Cutter, if you want me to agree to let Stephen take over for a couple days, you are not helping your case," he said, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Anyways, back to my original topic. Can I take a couple of days off?" I repeated, trying to refrain from decking him again.

"Hmm, a couple days without Nick Cutter around…" he mused to himself, cocking his head slightly to the side. "You know what? Have as many days off as you like," he said, looking thoroughly pleased by the idea of not having me around for a little while.

"Thanks, I'm flattered," I said sarcastically.

"You can leave now," he said, motioning to the door.

* * *

The next day, when I arrived at the neurologist's office, I was tingling with nervousness. I glanced around and thanked a nurse that pointed me in the direction of the department I needed. I had gotten lucky enough to get an appointment this soon, thankfully not having to wait long.

"Nice to meet you, Mr Cutter. I'm Doctor Jonathan Mace, I'll be performing your surgery," the man said.

"Pleasure to meet you," I nodded, feeling more than slightly uncomfortable. I had always hated doctor's offices.

"It says here in your file that you have…"

I sighed and leaned back in the chair as he started saying a bunch of medical terms that I had no idea what meant.

**Lester's P.O.V.**

I was sitting on the couch, working on paperwork, when I heard a knock at the door. I rose to my feet and walked over to answer it, wondering why on earth people couldn't just learn to leave me the hell alone. I irritably opened the door and had my mouth opened to cuss out some employee or another, but was surprised when it was my wife standing there.

"Mind if I come in?" Anna asked, tucking a lock of long blond hair behind her ear.

She was the walking poster child for supermodels. Actually, she was a model several years ago. And lord knows she looks it. She has long blond hair, blue eyes, tall, slender, and just generally gorgeous. I had no idea what she could possible see in me, but she was still here eighteen years later, so I figured I must be doing something right.

"Of course not. What brings you here?" I asked, taking her coat and then closing the door behind her.

"I have some interesting news," she said, her brow furrowing just as it always did when she was profoundly confused about something.

"What is it, darling?" I asked, motioning for her to take a seat.

"I was at work, and I saw someone there that might interest you," she began, settling back comfortably against the couch.

She worked as a nurse at a neurologist's office, so I was naturally confused at who she could've possibly recognized. I had described most of the idiots I worked with to her once, but I seriously doubted any of them would be at a neurologist. While they did desperately need their heads checked, I feel sure that all the doctor would find would be a large, empty space and maybe a cobweb or two where their brains should have been.

"You said that Nick Cutter is blond, has a Scottish accent, blue eyes, and is in his late thirties, right?" she asked as I sat down beside her on the couch.

"Yes, that's Cutter," I said.

"He was coming in as I was getting ready to leave this afternoon," she said, much to my shock and confusion.

"You mean he actually grew himself a brain and is finally getting his mental health checked?"

"No, he as an appointment for a surgery later today. I checked his file," she told me, only furthering my confusion.

"That doesn't make any sense. Unless being chronically idiotic is a certifiable illness, he's healthy as far as I know," I said, trying to match up the odd pieces in my head.

"All the file said was that he had an appointment, it didn't mention for what kind of surgery," she shrugged. "Anyways, I have to get going. I'll see you this weekend," she said, rising to her feet and giving me a quick kiss before leaving.

I stared after her, still making a futile attempt to sort out what she had just told me.

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

"Lester, where is Cutter?" I asked a couple of days later when he finally showed back up again.

"No idea," he muttered, his brow furrowed as he sorted through the papers on his desk.

He seemed unusually preoccupied, and not as flippant as usual. He wasn't himself at all, and while I could care less if he tied a steak to his head and jumped out in front of a T-Rex, he usually didn't get all broody and absent unless he was confused about something. If something was confusing him, I needed to know what it was for the sake of making sure it wasn't nothing that could be potentially harmful to the team. He was leaning back in his chair, his gaze faraway when I spoke up again.

"What are you not telling me?" I asked, sitting down on one of the chairs in front of his desk and leaning forward.

"Nothing," he said flatly, seeming to snap out of his thoughts as he scribbled his signature onto a piece of paper.

"Tell me. I've been covering for you for three days while your nose healed enough to take the bandage off, the least you can do is tell me what you know," I said. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that he'd been hiding in his flat until he could show up without an ostentatious white bandage on his face.

"Fair enough. It's something my wife said that struck me as rather strange," he said, also leaning forward and lowering his voice conspiratorially.

"Which was?" I asked impatiently.

"Cutter was in a neurologist's office two days ago. My wife works there as a nurse, and according to his file he had an appointment for surgery that afternoon."

I felt my jaw drop, but I quickly recovered enough to bitchslap the hell out of him. His head snapped abruptly to the side, and he winced as he rubbed his jaw.

"You've known Nick has been ill in some way or another for days and you're _just now _telling me?" I demanded.

"You know something, Claudia? I am getting extremely tired of being injured by my employees," he said, pulling a comb from his inner suit pocket and pulling his hair back into place.

"What's all the fuss about?" said a voice from the doorway.

I spun around to see Nick standing in the doorway, one eyebrow lifted. He looked slightly pale and drawn, but otherwise fine. I had never in my life been so happy to see him.

"If the two of you are going to have some heartfelt reunion, can you please leave my office first?" Lester said.

Ignoring him, I ran over to Nick's side. "Are you alright?" I asked.

"I'm fine. I just wanted to take a couple days off," he said, evasively avoiding my gaze.

"Tell me the truth," I said, grabbing his arm and pulling him back as he turned to walk off.

He glanced pointedly over at Lester, and then back at me. "We'll talk later. Alone."

"_I went to pick up the parts, the doctor's hiding the charts." _~3OH!3

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Hi, sorry it took so long to update! I have been busy with school and videos and haven't gotten around to writing much, but I promise the next update will be sooner!**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing**


	3. We'll Do This Together

*****Warning, the end of this chapter is some very sappy/angsty Claudia and Nick fluff, so consider yourself warned*****

* * *

_"I feel like I am all alone, all by myself. I need to get around this." _~Avril Lavigne

**Nick's P.O.V.**

I walked over to a window and stared out at London, trying and failing to find any inkling of comfort in the familiarity of the city. I was standing in the Home Office, feeling crowded by the civil servants milling about. I could have left, but I didn't really feel like going anywhere yet. If I was being honest, I wasn't leaving because my spine was aching and I didn't think it would be wise to drive with it hurting the way it was.

"What's going on with you, Cutter?" asked a voice beside me.

I glanced to my left and found Lester standing there, his arms folded over his chest as usual. He looked tired, weary, and exasperated. I ignored him and went back to staring out the window, repressing the instinctive urge to confide in someone, even if it was him. What I really wanted was to speak with Claudia. I had promised her the truth, and the truth was what I was going to tell her. She deserved that much. I still hated the way I had treated her the other night, but it was in my nature to push people away, no matter how good their intentions may be. Odds are, the only reason Lester was standing there was because he didn't want to bother with trying to find a replacement for me.

"Why don't you go fill out some more paperwork?" I said flatly, still not turning to face him.

"Been there, done that, bought the bloody tee shirt. Quite frankly, I would rather be doing anything besides standing here talking to the Nutty Professor, but if you die, do you realize how much paperwork I would have to fill out?" he said, raising one eyebrow.

"What makes you think I'm dying?" I laughed, but the sound was empty. I couldn't quite muster a fake laugh for the fear prickling at my spine. How could he possibly know? It seemed awfully ironic for him to joke about me dying given the circumstances.

"Shouldn't we discuss this in private?" he replied, suddenly serious.

Oh hell. He _did_ know. Even if he didn't know the specifics, he clearly had an idea of what was going on.

"There's nothing to discuss," I said, turning on my heel and walking off.

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

"What was that all about?" I asked, walking up to Lester, who was standing at the panel of windows, staring out. His eyes seemed distanced, his stance more tense that usual.

"I think Cutter has finally well and truly lost his mind," he sighed, bracing one hand against the window and tapping his finger against the glass as if ticking off the minutes on an imaginary clock.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that he's hiding something, and I feel sure it's worse than we thought. I was complaining about how much paperwork I would have to fill out if he died, and you should have seen how he tensed up. I'm pretty sure I just hit the nail on the head, so to speak," he said, absently pushing a lock of light brown hair from his face.

"I really should have my hair cut," he muttered offhandedly. I had to resist the urge to slap him again, simply for thinking of something so completely trivial at a time like this. Albeit his hair had grown out to the point that it was curling over the back of his shirt collar, that was completely irrelevant.

"I'm going to go find Nick," I said, walking away to the staircase and not stopping until I had reached the ground floor and was walking out into the parking lot. I didn't see Nick's truck, so he had obviously already left. I walked over to my car and got in, pulling my keys from the pocket of my trousers. I cranked the car and pulled out, wishing more than anything Nick would just open up to me.

"Claudia, come in," he said when I knocked on the door of his office at the university. It was the place he retreated to when all else failed, and I felt sure he considered it more of a home than his own house.

"Alright, we're alone. Now tell me what is wrong with you," I said as I walked in, cutting straight to the chase without bothering with niceties.

"What, I don't even get a 'Hi, Nick, how have you been?,'" he joked, sitting down in his desk chair and motioning for me to sit across from him. I sat down and looked at him expectantly, but he only looked back at me blankly.

"I just want to know what's wrong with you," I sighed, reaching out to take his hand on the desk but withdrawing my hand and laying it in my lap instead.

"There's no pulling you off of this, is there?" he asked, smiling slightly as if my hard headedness was endearing.

"Not a chance," I smiled back, glad that we seemed to be regaining some of our easy familiarity.

"I figured as much," he laughed, leaning back in his chair and staring at the ceiling as if he expected it to spell out some sort of magical answer. "I need you to promise me something," he finally said, returning his gaze to mine.

"Anything," I nodded.

"No matter what I tell you, I don't want you to treat me any differently because of it," he said.

"Of course I promise. I would never judge you, Nick," I said confusedly.

"That's not what I mean. You'll understand once I start explaining," he said, leaning forward on his elbows. I leaned forward as well, and he began talking quietly, as if someone was in danger of hearing us.

"Claudia…I don't know how to put it delicately, so I'll just come out and say it. I have cancer," he said, and I felt the blood drain from my face and leave me dizzy. _Cancer_. The word as sounded poisonous to my mind as it was to the body it victimized. The part I couldn't wrap my mind around though, was that the body it victimized was Nick's.

"It's spinal, and not usually fatal," he continued, and I heard the silently implied "but" added on to the end of the sentence. "As long as I've gone without getting it treated, the odds aren't looking well," he told me, and I felt my heart go to pieces.

I could practically feel the broken shards laying inside me, broken apart in far too many pieces to ever be reassembled again. The large office suddenly felt too small, as if I was trapped with no where to go. The words _cancer_ and _fatal_ consumed my mind, and I found myself almost unable to breathe. I shook my head weakly, denying it to myself. No. _No. _I repeated the word in my head over and over, yet I still couldn't escape the brutal truth of his confession.

"No," I said, out loud this time. I was trembling, and Nick walked around to stand beside me.

Instead of speaking, he pulled me to my feet and into his arms. He stroked my hair gently as I fought tears that stung my eyes. I felt so stupid for breaking down when it was him that had just said he was dying, but I couldn't possible bear the thought of life without him. I didn't know how I could possibly go on without seeing him, without knowing he was here, somewhere in the world. The knowledge of the fact he may not be in the world much longer shattered the entirety of my composure. I began sobbing into his shirt, clinging to him as if he would suddenly vaporize and disappear from my arms.

"Nick I am so sorry…I wish I could have been there for you when you found out… I'm so sorry," I repeated through my tears, and I felt his arms tighten around me.

"You're here for me now. That's what I've need all along," he murmured, still holding me close. "It's selfish, but I wanted someone to know. I know it's not right to burden you with this, but-"

"I wanted to know, I want to be here for you. I'm going to be here every step of the way," I said, finally managing to stop the tears streaming from my eyes as I pulled away slightly to look up at him.

"After things start getting worse, you're really not going to want to see me that way-"

"I said _every step of the way_, did I not? I am not going anywhere, Nick Cutter. I'll be here for every single step," I told him, tossing my hair over my shoulder defiantly.

Instead of replying, he pulled me back against his chest and I was completely content to stand there in his arms, letting one final tear slide down my face. I wrapped my arms around his neck and closed my eyes, knowing I would cherish each moment from this one forward. And I would be strong for him, no matter how tempting it would be to break down. If I was being honest with myself, I could admit the real reason I found myself unable to even consider the thought of turning away from him now.

I loved him too much to walk away.

"_I will be with you, we'll do this together. Always together." _~Aly and A.J.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**I promise I will start updating this more often! I am so sorry it's been so long! I have been working on finishing up a Jenny/Lester, Connor/Abby, Sarah/Becker, Claudia/Nick fiction and have not had a lot of time to write this. Again, sorry!**

**I know that the end there was extremely overly fluffy, but I am a total hopeless romantic. Also, this chapter is dedicated to Kathryn Hart, who loves Claudia and Nick more than anyone else on the planet:-)**

**Thank you very much to everyone that has read and reviewed!**


	4. She Will Be Loved

"_Sick of all the insincere, so I'm gonna give all my secrets away." _~OneRepublic

**Nick's P.O.V.**

"I should tell everyone else, shouldn't I?" I sighed as Claudia and I sat in my office a couple of days later.

"Nick if you're not ready, then-"

"Thanks, but I really probably should tell them. They have a right to know," I said.

"Should we ask everyone to meet us at the Home Office?"

"Yeah, sounds like a plan. I'll call Stephen. Would you mind calling Abby and asking her and Connor to come?"

"Of course not," she said, pulling out her mobile, dialing a number, and walking out in the hallway.

"Hey Stephen, it's Nick," I said when he answered the phone.

"I figured out it was you after the 'Hey Stephen' bit. That accent's pretty hard to miss. Anyways, what's up old man?"

"Old man?" I scoffed. "Keep in mind I'm only four years older than you."

"And I'm a lot prettier," he laughed, and I couldn't help but to laugh with him.

"Anyways, can you meet me and the rest of the team at the Home Office?" I asked.

"Sure, what's going on?"

"I'll explain when you get there," I said, hanging up.

"Connor and Abby are on their way," Claudia informed me.

"Good. Let's go," I said, grabbing my keys off the desk.

**Connor's P.O.V.**

"I wonder what's wrong," Abby said as walked into the Home Office.

Claudia had told us to meet up in Lester's office, so we cut through the main room and found his door already standing open. Stephen was leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his chest, and Lester was sitting in his desk chair, looking positively bored.

"Oh wonderful, the circus has arrived," he said, folded his arms behind his head and leaning back in his chair.

"We could do without the sarcasm," Stephen replied.

"And I could do without a group of dinosaur chasing dimwits cramping my office, but we can't always have what we want," Lester said dryly.

"Thanks for meeting us here, everyone," Claudia said as she came in with Nick at her heels.

"Of course. What's wrong?" Abby asked, looking at Nick worriedly, who was looking slightly pale.

"We have something we need to tell all of you," he said, his voice low and serious.

"While I would rather throw myself off the roof of this building than be here talking to all of you idiots, you have our attention, so go ahead and inform us," Lester sighed.

"I know that you all want an explanation for why I've been behaving a bit oddly lately," he began, cracking his knuckles.

"Stop, I hate when you do that," Claudia scolded, pulling his hands apart.

"Sorry," he laughed, and then continued, becoming serious again, "I'm sick," he said, staring down at his shoes.

"Oh please tell me you didn't round us all up just so you could whine at us," Lester said just as I said "What do you mean, Professor?"

"I don't mean I have the flu or a head cold," Nick said, and Claudia rested her hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. Seeming to draw strength from her simple gesture, he continued on. "I have…cancer," he finally said.

"Cancer?" I repeated quietly, feeling my little world go to pieces.

"Yes, cancer. It may or may not be fatal," he explained.

"No. No, it can't be fatal. You can't die," I said, trembling.

My head spun with denial, and suddenly it was like losing Tom all over again. Nick was like the father I'd never had. My own father had never approved of my dreams and my love of computers and software programs. He'd thought I was a wimp. Nick, though, had been with me every step of the way. When I'd wanted to quit everything that had to do with the anomalies after Tom had died, he had reassured me how much the team needed me. I needed Nick. We all did. He gave the team wisdom and guidance, and he kept us straight. We wouldn't even be able to function the same way without him.

"They don't know yet. They won't be able to tell if the surgery helped at all until I either get better or worse," he said, and I felt tears come to my eyes. I blinked, but the tears still clung to my lashes.

"There has to be something we can do," Stephen said, the logic in his tone flawed by the trembling in his voice. For the first time since I'd known him, the strong, stoic man looked broken and afraid.

**Stephen's P.O.V.**

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. I could barely speak.

I tried to still my trembling body, but it still shook on its own accord. Nick had been my best friend, my teacher, the one I confided in for years. He was my balance, the one that kept me grounded. He was the one I turned to, the one I trusted more than anyone else. I would lay my very life down for the man, but I couldn't even process the thought of not being able to protect him from something.

It was what I did; I protected people. I kept them safe, I put my life on the line to make sure everyone came out alive. I had long since dedicated my life to the anomalies and protecting people from the harm they caused, and it made me feel weak and powerless not to be able to protect Nick from this. I would take it from him if it was at all possible.

I stared blankly as Nick pulled Connor into a tight embrace just as he had after Tom died, and I couldn't help but notice how bleary eyed Abby looked. It broke my heart even further to see the feisty, sassy, beautiful Abby reduced to tears, and I walked over and put my arm around her. She leaned into my side, crying into my shoulder. I looked over at Claudia, who's eyes were bright but didn't shed tears. I had a feeling, judging from the pained expression on her face, that she had shed plenty of tears already. Even Lester's expression was more closed off than usual.

I took a deep breath and tried to pull myself together, but no one in the room seemed to be trying to hide their pain. Even Nick, who usually tried to remain closed off and focused no matter what, looked grieved and pained. He looked more worried for his team, though, than he did for himself.

"I need all of you to promise me that you're not going to treat me any differently," he said as he released a still trembling Connor.

"I promise," Connor said, nodding shakily.

We all agreed to treat him the same, but deep down I knew that things would never be completely as they had been. No matter what, we would all have that nagging feeling of _How long does he have left? _

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

"Let's get something to eat on the way home. I'm starved," Nick said as we walked out of the Home Office. The team had slowly dispersed, all looking broken in their own way.

"I am too. I don't even think I've ate breakfast this morning," I said, trying to keep the conversation light and easy. I had promised not to treat him any differently, so that was what I was going to try to do.

"What do you fancy to eat?" he asked as we sat down in a small café.

"Anything that won't eat me first," I laughed, opening the menu.

We talked and laughed as we ate, falling into our usual routine of easy banter. At some point our fingers ended up interlaced on the table, and he made no move to pull away, so I left it be. I took reassurance in the warmth of his hand against mine. When we left, we still held hands as we walked back to the car. It felt simple and natural, a wonderful change from the day's events.

"Thanks for lunch," I said when he dropped me off at my flat.

"No problem," he smiled, and then leaned in and gave me a very gentle kiss on the cheek. It was soft and feather light, just a short brush of his lips against my skin. He smiled and left, and I found myself staring after him. _They say you only live once, _I thought, following him outside. There was something I needed to tell him. After confessing his illness to me, the least I could do was be honest about how I felt.

When I walked out onto the sidewalk, I found that he had already gone. Rain began falling, and I was quickly soaked from head to toe. I sighed and crossed my arms, too lost in thought to care about the wetness seeping through my clothes.

"_I don't mind spending every day out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile, and she will be loved. She will be loved." _~Maroon 5

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Sorry for all the angst! I promise this story will have lighter, happier chapters soon, but I wanted to get some of the angst stuff out of the way first. This chapter is dedicated to Squabble, a constant reviewer and the author of "Survivors," a totally kick a** Primeval fiction you should definitely check out! **

**Thanks for reading and reviewing everyone!**


	5. They Try To Pull Me Away

"_Today I'm gonna try a little harder, gonna make every minute last longer. Gonna learn to forgive and forget. 'Cause we don't have long, gonna make the most of it." _~Skillet

**Nick's P.O.V.**

I woke up with a hot, searing pain ripping down my spine. I gasped and sat up, which only made it worse. I bit down on my lip to hold in the noises of pain, but another round of the fierce pain forced the noises from my throat. I clutched the side of the mattress and closed my eyes, forcing myself to endure. I thought hard of a way to keep myself grounded, for this was the worst of the spells yet.

An image started forming in my mind, and I clung to it for dear life. Brown eyes, fringed by long, dark lashes. Those eyes had pierced straight through me more times than I could ever hope to count. Then I saw her long, ginger colored hair. I remembered from when I had held her to me as she cried over my illness that it felt like silk under my fingertips. I knew that it fell effortlessly past her shoulders in the rare moments she wore it down, and that it had brilliant, beautiful highlights in it when the sun it. I heard her name as clearly as if I had said it out loud. _Claudia Brown._

The pain began subsiding, and I let the image fade with it. I laid back down, breathing somewhat heavily. My bedclothes clung to me with sweat and the sheets were tangled around my legs, the combination of the two giving me the feeling of being smothered. I took a long, deep breath and forced my breathing to slow. I glanced over at the clock and saw that it read thirteen after five in the morning. No sense in going back to bed now.

I eased myself to my feet and walked over to the dresser, pulling my wallet off of it. I opened it and looked down at the picture of Claudia and I, which had long since replaced the one of Helen. As much as I loved the picture, it didn't do Claudia's beauty any justice. It couldn't capture the sparkling in those brown eyes or the love and sweetness of her smile.

After getting a shower and getting dressed, I walked into the kitchen. As I sipped my coffee, I let my mind wander to a place I rarely let it travel to. Helen. I had discovered she'd been alive for all eight of the years I had spent missing her, only to then realize she had never been the woman I had thought her to be. I had grieved a woman that had never even existed. The smart, fierce woman I had loved and married had been a mask for the crazed lunatic I had found in the place of my wife.

I tried to compare her to Claudia, but could find no similarities. I asked myself why I was even comparing them, seeing as they had nothing in common, but knew that I was lying to myself. Deep down, I knew _exactly_ why I was thinking of them on the same track. It was a vulnerability that I didn't even like admitting to myself, but I cared for Claudia. As much as I didn't want to face the fact of it, I even finally admitted to myself that I loved her.

I loved her with a completeness that consumed the entirety of who I was. I couldn't meet her eyes without feeling a now familiar warmth spread through me, and I couldn't hear her laugh without laughing as well. The most recent problem I was having was that I had on numerous occasions found myself wanting to kiss her. I hungered for the feel of her lips on mine as they had been when I'd kissed her that once when we were under attack. I could almost still feel the warmth of her lips pressed to mine, and in spite of trying to, I couldn't shake the desire that filtered through me.

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

As I sat in the Home Office, working on paperwork, I found myself distracted. By thoughts of Nick, of course. It was the same thing that had been distracted for awhile now. I absently twiddled with the ink pen in my hand, giving up on concentrating. Leaning back in my chair, I stared at the ceiling and fought the urge to cry out in frustration. Nick could die, and there wasn't a damn bloody thing I could do about it.

"I would say 'Penny for your thoughts,' but I have no intention of paying you to tell me why the hell you've been staring at the ceiling for the past five minutes, so I'll do this the easy way. What are you thinking about so hard?"

I looked over, even though I didn't even have to look to know that it was Lester who was talking to me. Sadly, I would know that sarcastic drawl anywhere. He was standing in front of me, arms folded over his chest. Except for when he was sitting down, I rarely saw him without his arms crossed. He had one eyebrow raised, looking at me expectantly.

"Nothing," I lied, sitting up and returning to scribbling my signature onto a piece of paper.

"I suddenly feel the need to inform you that you are a horrible liar," he replied.

"And I suddenly feel the need to inform you that if you don't shut up and leave me the hell alone, this high heel is going to a place where the sun does not shine very frequently," I informed him with a sweet smile. Normally I could just tune him out, but today I wasn't at all in the mood for his sarcasm.

"I'll keep that charming little threat it mind. Actually, my wife would probably not be too pleased with you if you put me out of commission," he said, and I cringed at the thoroughly disturbing image of him _in_ commission, let alone out of it. "Anyways, back to the original reason I came over here. I'm putting you in charge for the rest of the day," he informed me, glancing at his watch.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"My son's accepting an award in two hours, and I need to be going," he said, straightening the cuffs of his jacket and then leaving.

Leaving work for his son? I stared after him, thinking that maybe James Lester just might be human after all.

* * *

When I got back to my flat that night, I was dead tired. _No wonder Lester's such a grouch all the time. He has to deal with that job on a daily basis, _I thought wearily, still exhausted from the day. I had talked to more curious journalists than I cared to count, my hand ached from signing papers, and I had a headache from everyone that came to me with questions. I had been asked everything from _Who am I supposed to fax this to? _to _Lord Bairstow is on line two, shall I put him on? _

The people Lester gave orders to seemed to look to him for the same things Cutter's team looked to him for; guidance, instructions, and leadership. While Lester was obviously not even half as close to his staff as Nick was to his team, he was still obviously their leader. I wondered how him and Nick - two completely different people - could both be such natural leaders.

_And there you go thinking about Nick again, _I mentally scolded myself. I fixed myself a cup of tea and sat down on the couch, letting the warm liquid coat my somewhat dry throat. In spite of the cool weather, Whitehall got incredibly stuffy and warm sometimes. Probably because of all the people crowded into the small rooms at once.

I sat my cup down on the coffee table and was about to kick my shoes off when there was a knock on the door. Sighing, I rose to my feet and walked over to answer it. Opening it, I made a futile attempt at taming my disheveled hair. I was a mess from the tiring day.

"Hi Nick," I said, stepping back to let him in.

"Hey. Just thought I'd come by and see what you were up to," he said, and I thought I detected a trace of tenseness under the nonchalant tone.

"Not much," I replied, motioning for him to take a seat and then going into the kitchen. I came back out holding a second cup of tea, which he accepted gratefully.

"Anything interesting happen at work today?" he asked, taking a drink of tea.

"Lester had me take over for him for the day. It was hell," I admitted.

"Sounds like it. Filling Lester's shoes for a day does not sound fun at all. Hell, I probably couldn't even afford Lester's shoes," he added.

"True enough," I agreed with a laugh, resituating myself on the couch. "Is something wrong?" I added, seeing his faraway look.

"No, nothing really," he said, seemingly snapping back to reality.

"Liar," I said, sitting my tea down, taking his cup from his hand, and then turning him to face me. "Now tell me what's wrong," I said, holding his shoulders to keep him from turning away.

"Claudia, I…" he trailed off, looking at a loss for words, something uncommon for him.

"What?" I asked worriedly, scanning his face for any signs of physical pain and finding none.

He didn't reply. He leaned in, took my face in his hands, and kissed me hard and deep. He pulled away slightly as if fearing my reaction, but I grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him back to me. I kissed him back with an equal hunger to with which he kissed me as I wrapped my arms around his neck. His arms in turn encircled my waist, and I was perfectly happy to be held in his embrace.

I buried my fingers in his hair, letting love take me over. I had wanted this for so long, to kiss him and to forget about life's problems for awhile. His lips felt both passionate and gentle against mine, and I wanted to say the words I had been wanting to right then and there. I wanted - needed, really- to tell him I loved him. I had to say it just once, just to hear the words out loud, just to finally admit it.

Try as I might to muster the will to, I couldn't pull my mouth from his. I was powerless to escape his arms, even though he would have of course let me go had I asked. But I just didn't want to be let go. I wanted to stay here, with him, in his arms, forever. He was all I had ever needed, and even more than I'd ever wanted. More than I deserved, for sure. I let time slip away from me as my actions became engulfed by my love for the eccentric, headstrong maverick; Nick Cutter.

"_I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you. They try to pull me away, but they don't know the truth." _~Leona Lewis

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Please note before you kill me that my fluff bunny was out of control! Sorry about that. This chapter was lots of angst and fluff, but the next chapter will be more of the fun stuff. Albeit yes, the next chapter is also going to be very fluffy, it won't be as serious.**

**Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing!**


	6. I Belong To You

"_I've been losing my sleep, I think I'm falling too deep, don't know what it is you do to me." _~Ashley Tisdale

**Nick's P.O.V.**

"Nick…don't go…don't leave me…" Claudia murmured in her sleep, stirring as if having a nightmare.

After we had finally - albeit reluctantly - broken our kiss, she had invited me to stay the night. Nothing had happened, or anything of that sort. We hadn't slept together or done anything besides kiss, but she'd said she didn't want me to leave her. I was currently lying on her bed with her head resting on my chest, and I gently stroked her back to soothe her.

"I'm not going anywhere," I whispered to her.

Her eyelashes fluttered, and as soon as she saw me lying next to her, she leaned up and gave me a quick, brief kiss. She seemed immensely relieved to find me there, and I assumed it had something to do with her nightmare.

"You alright?" I asked, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I'm fine, I just had a bad dream is all," she said, burying her face in my neck and curling up against me again.

"Well you don't have to worry, because unless you've got a crowbar handy, I'm not going anywhere," I said, stroking her hair.

She laughed softly and propped herself up on one elbow to look at me. "And why is that?"

"Because I am lying with the most beautiful, amazing woman I have ever met in my entire life," I replied, and she blushed almost to the roots of her hair.

"You're delusional," she said.

"No, I'm honest," I said, causing her to blush all over again.

"Well we're going to have to argue about this later, because I have to get ready for work," she said, rising to her feet.

"I'm going to go fix tea," I said, getting up and walking into the kitchen.

I leaned against the counter, sipping tea, and allowed myself to contemplate last night. She and I hadn't done anything besides kissing, but lying with her while she slept seemed like some sort of next step. I had slept in her _bed_, for heaven's sake. That had to count for something. I mulled that over contentedly, and let myself - just briefly - fancy the thought that maybe, just _maybe_ she cared about me as much as I cared about her. Then I let the thought pass, simply because the idea of a woman like Claudia Brown falling in love with someone like me - an eccentric, headstrong scientist - was just too improbable to even consider.

Even though it was a difficult subject to consider - even mentally - I let myself mull over the other feelings I had towards her besides emotionally. Her kiss had left me in a frenzy of wanting and desire, and I had no idea how to handle it. I hadn't wanted a woman this much since, well, never. She elicited a reaction in me that no woman had ever been able to cause. I could still feel a prickle of desire at the memory of kissing her hard and deep, finally letting go of the building emotions I had been suppressing for so long.

"What are you thinking about so hard?"

I looked to my right to see Claudia walk in, studying me. She was fully dressed for the day, but her pretty face was bare of makeup, her hair was damp, and to me she looked even more amazing than usual. Something about them not being ringed with shadows and liners made her large brown eyes seem even more enticing.

"Ah, nothing really," I shrugged, taking a sip of tea and trying to refrain from staring. She looked at me questioningly but didn't say anything, so I let the subject drop.

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

When I left for work, I was still haunted by thoughts of my nightmare. It had been shockingly vivid, enough to shake me right to the core. In the dream, I was trying to stop Nick from going through an anomaly to the Permian, telling him I had a bad feeling about it. Yet he had still gone through, and in the nightmare, he never came back.

Waking up to find him there had been more of a relief than I could ever possibly put into words, and then reality had sunk in all over again. He still had cancer, he was still very possibly dying.

"Claudia," said a voice from behind me when I sat down at my desk.

I looked up to see Lester standing nearby, and he motioned for me to follow him to his office. He looked uncharacteristically serious, and his eyes were with ringed dark circles caused by a lack of sleep. I raised my eyebrows at him questioningly as he sat down behind his desk and motioned for me to sit across from him.

"What do you need?" I asked curtly.

"A new job, my comb, and some Tylenol," he said, wearily rubbing his head.

"What do you need from _me_?" I clarified impatiently.

"I need you to speak with Cutter for me. In light of his condition, I think it would be best to remove him from the Anomaly Operation. I think he would take the news better from you," he said flatly, looking more cold and detached than ever.

"You can't do that! We promised not to treat him any differently," I protested angrily.

He glanced at a framed photo that sat on his small bookcase of a little girl before returning his gaze to mine. "It is for the best. Well, that's all, you can go now," he said, eyes flicking back to the picture briefly.

"You really are a piece of work James Lester," I spat, rising to my feet and leaving his office.

As I sat back down at my desk and stared down at the stack of paperwork I needed to fill out, I realized just how upset Nick would be. The anomalies were his passion, he'd dedicated his entire life to them. I glanced at my mobile but quickly dismissed the idea of calling him to tell him. I needed to speak with him in person. I picked my purse up, got to my feet, and left the Home Office. Lester could get angry if he damn well wanted to, I could really care less.

* * *

"Hi Nick. Could we talk?" I said as I walked into his office at the university.

"Sure," he said, nodding towards the chair across from his desk and then lowering himself onto the one next to me.

I turned to face him, noticing that he'd sat down somewhat gingerly. I studied him worriedly, seeing signs of pain in his eyes. He was hurting, undoubtedly. I almost asked him if there was anything I could do, but I also knew that he hated having attention called to it, so I held my silence. I couldn't even begin to think about how I was going to tell him that he'd been, for all intents and purposes, kicked out of the Anomaly Operation. I just couldn't look at those eyes and tell him, couldn't see the hurt and disappointment there.

"What did you need to talk about?" he asked, lacing his fingers with mine.

Sighing and completely chickening out, I said, "Nothing. I just wanted to see you." It wasn't a lie, but it also wasn't the whole truth.

"I'm glad you came by," he said, leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss to my lips.

I decided that I would just have to try and talk sense into Lester about this whole situation. But I just couldn't bear to tell him that because of his illness, because of something he couldn't even help, that he was being blamed for it. Not blamed, really, but he was being removed from something he loved because of something he couldn't help. The thought infuriated me with Lester all over again.

**Lester's P.O.V.**

I sat in my office, my gaze fixed helplessly on Chari's picture. She'd looked just like her mother, with long blond hair and blue eyes. It wasn't fair that she hadn't even lived to see her seventh birthday. I tapped my fingers on the desk, and the fluorescent lighting caught my wedding band. That made me think of my wife, which just caused me to think of Chari again. I could still see her funeral playing out before me as if it was yesterday.

She had died of lung cancer at only six. My wife and I had tried every cure in the book, had spent thousands upon thousands of dollars trying to save her, but in the end it had been pointless. An innocent girl had still died, had still been victimized and killed by the disease. Simply because my wife and my other children were the only ones that even knew about my deceased daughter, Claudia had no idea that I was sanctioning Cutter for his own good.

I had seen how hard Chari had fought in those last days before her death, and I knew that it would have been harder on her had she tried to live her everyday life as if the disease wasn't affected her. Pushing herself too hard had led to the cancer killing her faster, and though I would not admit it to any person in the entire world, I didn't want that happening to Cutter. I tried to mentally reason that it was just because I would have to fill out so much paperwork if he died, but I knew that I actually held something of a begrudging respect for the man.

"We need to talk."

I snapped out of my reverie and looked over at the doorway to find Claudia standing there. Her jaw was clenched and her hands were fisted at her sides. She looked furious. I took a deep breath and leaned back in my chair, knowing without having to ask that this was about Cutter.

"You can't just _do_ this, Lester," she said, walking around the desk to stand in front of me.

"Last time I checked, I was you boss, so yes I can just do this," I replied flatly.

"Why do you even care?" she demanded. "You'll probably be happy if Nick does die, so why should it matter to you how he spends his time before he does?" she snarled harshly.

"The longer it takes for him to snuff it, the more time I have to find him a replacement," I shrugged.

"How could you say things like that?" she said, shaking her head.

"It's true," I replied, trying to refrain from letting my eyes wander back to my photo of Chari.

"I can't believe you! His one request was for us not to treat him any differently, and here you go firing him!" she yelled.

"I don't care how much you yell at me like an angered little girl Claudia, my answer is still the same," I told her.

She looked angry and pained at the same time, and I noticed that tears pricked the corners of her eyes. _Oh please don't let her start crying, I never have been able to handle a crying woman well, _I thought desperately. Without another word, she turned on her heel and stormed out. I could tell that she knew I wasn't changing my mind on this.

**Nick's P.O.V.**

"Is everything alright?" I asked as I walked into Claudia's flat.

She had called me and asked if I minded coming over, and I had of course came as soon we hung up. She was sitting on the couch, looking tired and upset. Without a second of hesitation, I rushed to her side and took her hand.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I actually have a favor to ask," she said, lacing her fingers with mine.

"Of course, anything," I said.

"I'm not trying to rush things or sound like every other clingy girlfriend in the world, but would you mind staying again tonight?" she asked.

"I would very much like that," I smiled, and she smiled right back.

I had actually wanted to stay with her again tonight, but hadn't wanted to pressure her into too committed of a relationship too fast. Still smiling, she pulled me along behind her and into her room. In spite of her smile, she seemed very upset about something, but it was obvious her anger wasn't directed towards me.

"You never did tell me what was wrong," I said, kicking my shoes off and laying down on the bed.

She climbed in beside me and rested her head on my chest, sighing in what seemed like exhaustion and defeat. I laid one arm over her waist, and she instantly moved closer. I waited for her reply, listening to the soft sound of the _click, click _of the wall clock. Then she finally spoke.

"Can it wait till morning?" she requested.

I laughed softly and pulled her closer to me. "Yeah, I think I can manage that."

"Well then, good night Nick. Thank you for staying with me," she murmured sleepily.

"Good night Claudia," I said softly.

I couldn't resist watching her as she slept, observing the rise and fall of her chest as her breathing became deep and even. She'd fallen asleep in all of her work clothes except for her shoes, so I gently removed her jacket, careful not to jostle and wake her. She shifted slightly and murmured something in her sleep but didn't seem to be waking up.

She was obviously sound asleep, but she murmured the words again, audibly enough for me to hear this time.

"I love you Nick."

"_I belong, I belong to you alone. I can't find the words to say, they're overdue. Traveled half the world to say 'I belong to you.'" _~Muse

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**This chapter was originally going to be more fun and less angsty, but my fluff and angst bunnies got carried away again. Sorry! I know this fic is really sort of depressing, but the theme for it was angst even when I first started outlining te plot.**

**Anyways, thanks so much for reading and reviewing!**


	7. Do You Ever Feel Like Breaking Down

_"Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place? Like somehow you just don't belong, and no one understands you?" _~Simple Plan

**Nick's P.O.V.**

When I left Claudia's flat the following morning, I was absolutely furious. Not with her, of course, but with Lester. I get sick, I tell everyone, and then I get thrown out of the Anomaly Operation. As I drove, I fervently wished Lester was around just so I could hit him again. Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm myself down. I was on my way to the doctor's office to get the results of the test he'd run to see if the surgery had helped at all.

As I walked into the building, I tried hard to get my temper under control. Snapping the doctor's head off sure wasn't going to get me anywhere. I'd had to try extremely hard not to snap at Claudia, she was just the messenger after all. I had to wonder if Lester hadn't told me himself because he simply didn't want to bother with it or because he didn't want me to hit him again. Probably both.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked when I walked into the office of my usual doctor, only to find a completely different man waiting on me.

He wasn't the short, burly man I was used to, he was quite the opposite actually. The man standing before me was tall and lean, with disheveled black hair and pale blue eyes. Not to mention the fact he looked far too young to be an actual professional. I would put him in his late twenties at most.

"Doctor Joseph Noir. Your usual doctor is out on vacation," he explained. His voice was quiet, with a slight huskiness to it, and it bore no trace of an accent.

"When will he be back?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest.

"Next week. Would you like to go ahead and go over the tests?" he asked, pulling a pair of black spectacle reading glasses from his pocket and putting them on.

"I guess since my doctor isn't here I suppose so," I said crossly, still not sitting down.

"Would you like to sit down or shall we proceed with you standing there with your arms crossed?" he asked. He didn't say it with sarcasm or an attitude, he said it as if it was a perfectly reasonable question. He had an eerie calm nature about him that just creeped me out.

"The latter sounds fine," I retorted dryly.

"If you insist," he shrugged, opening the manila folder he held and flipping through papers until he reached what he needed. "I really do always hate telling people this, but I have good news and I have bad news," he said.

"Give me the bad news first," I told him.

"The cancer is going to get worse before it gets better," he explained.

"And the good news?" I prompted.

"If you make it through the next six months, then odds are you're going to live," he said.

"_If_ I make it through the next six months?" I repeated confusedly.

"Yes. You're going to hit a rough patch soon, but if you can pull through it, you should be fine save for the occasional back pains," he told me.

"What are the odds of me pulling through?" I asked.

"That depends," he said with a faint smile. "How stubborn are you?"

"You know what, call this number and ask the man that answers the phone," I said with a small smile of my own, jotting the number Lester's mobile number down on a blank piece of paper I saw laying on the desk and handing it to Dr. Noir.

"Okay," he said, raising his eyebrows but still dialing the number.

"Hello, this is Joseph Noir, and Nick Cutter has informed me that I should call you to inquire about his stubbornness," Joseph said, saying it as if it was an average everyday conversation.

He winced and held the phone slightly away from his ear, and I heard Lester on the other end, his accent flaring with irritation. I heard him clearly on the other end of the line. _"You mean to tell me you called to ask me about that overly headstrong idiot? Tell that dimwitted maverick to throw himself off a cliff, why don't you? Actually, just hand the phone to him and I'll tell him myself-"_

Joseph snapped the phone shut, cutting Lester off in the middle of his ranting. He laughed softly as he looked down at the closed phone.

"Well I think I got my answer," he said, looking somewhat amused.

"Yeah, I think you did," I said, unable to hold back a smile.

"He's one interesting man," he said, laying his phone on the desk.

"You have no idea," I agreed as I shook my head.

"Please at least tell me you don't rant like that?" the doctor asked.

"I am pleased to tell you that I do not," I affirmed.

Joseph smiled. "Then I think you and I should get along just fine."

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

I sat in my flat, sipping tea. It was Sunday and I didn't have to go to work. Staring down on my mobile, which sat on the coffee table, I wondered how Nick's appointment had gone. He'd been infuriated when he'd left earlier, and I was worried sick. _He is a grown man, he can take care of himself, _I told myself. Yet even as I thought that, I knew I would still worry for him regardless.

There was a knock at my door, and I sprung to my feet and went over to answer it. I felt a pleased smile spread across my face at the sight of Nick. For the first time in awhile, he was smiling. A true, happy, genuine smile. Something about his relaxed posture as he leaned against the doorsill and the lack of tension in his eyes told me he'd gotten good news.

"What's got you so happy?" I asked, feeling a smile of my own form. Though I didn't know what he was happy about, his grin was contagious.

"How about I tell you over lunch?" he offered.

"That sounds great," I said, sliding my shoes on.

He held my jacket while I slipped into it, and then held the car door open for me. _Such a gentleman_, I thought fondly. By the time we arrived at the restaurant, it was raining, and he unfurled an umbrella as we got out of the car. He offered me his arm, and I happily slid mine through his. I was content and relaxed, feeling as if this was all a dream. After all the awful things that had been happening lately, it just felt so good to relax.

"So, would you like to know what the good news is now?" he asked as we sat down at a table by the window.

"Absolutely," I nodded.

"It's not all good news, but it's better than what we have been getting lately," he began, his hand reaching for mine almost instinctively. Seeing his hesitation, I laced my fingers through his and rested our joined hands on the table. Seeming pleased, he continued.

"At first, I thought I was going to hate my new doctor. My usual one is on vacation. But it turns out Dr. Noir isn't half bad. I don't think he likes Lester much, though it's a long story why he was talking to Lester in the first place. Anyways, on to the good news. Although these next six months are going to be pretty awful, or so he told me, if I can pull through them then I should be just fine. My back is always going have aches every now and then, but nothing too major. He told me the disease is going to be at its worst in these next six months, but the surgery is going to cause it to gradually fade after that," Nick explained.

"Oh my god, this is wonderful!" I cried happily.

Heedless of the other people in the restaurant, he leaned across the table and kissed me. I sighed with contentment, but he had to pull away all too soon. _The trials and tribulations of being in public,_ I mused. I squeezed his hand tightly, and he squeezed back. At the moment, no words were necessary. It was just the mutual feeling of hope, the shared knowledge that he may just survive this, that was enough. It was a thin sliver of hope, but it was there. And I had no intentions of letting go of it.

"_Hope dangles on a string, like slow spinning redemption." _~Dashboard Confessional

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**I know that anyone that read my other Primeval story, Caught In Between, may be a bit confused with Joseph being in this. He was an OC that was also in Caught In Between, but I'm working on writing a sequel to that based on Joseph and James The Second (both are OCs first introduced in Caught In Between) so working with one of the characters is just me getting my muse working again. **

**Enough of my babbling now! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! :D**


	8. What You Keep To Yourself

"_Let the rain fall down, and wake my dreams. Let it wash away my sanity. I want to feel the thunder, I want to scream. Let the rain fall down, I'm coming clean." _~Hilary Duff

**Nick's P.O.V.**

I walked along the sidewalk, feeling nearly as light as the leaves that the wind blew across the sidewalk. Rain began pelting me, but I could care less. Spending yesterday afternoon with Claudia after finding out I may pull through was enough to bring a smile to my face in spite of the weather. After we'd arrived back at her flat, she'd looked like she had wanted to say something, but then just told me goodnight and went into her flat. I'd intended on staying with her again, but I'd had some back paperwork to take care of at the University.

I had a chance of surviving the cancer, Claudia had let me kiss her twice now, and I was feeling well enough to maybe even swing by the Home Office and deck Lester again. Today was a good day already. Not to mention the fact I had another appointment with Dr. Noir again in three days and he was going to run some tests so he could give the results to Lester. Once Lester had the proof in his hands that I wasn't _officially_ terminally ill, he should by all means reinstate my position in the Anomaly Operation.

As I walked, I ran into someone and looked up to apologize. I found Joseph standing there, looking like a drowned rat. His white lab coat clung to his slender frame, his unruly black hair was soaked, and raindrops ran down the lenses of his glasses. He stuttered out an apology before he realized it was me.

"Oh, hi Mister Cutter," he greeted, taking off his glasses and tucking them into his pocket.

"Please, it's Nick. So why are you wearing your lab coat, anyways? You're not in the office," I said.

"I always wear this," he shrugged with a laugh.

"You are one interesting little man," I said, shaking my head but still smiling.

"Ah, 'little' doesn't exactly apply. I'm actually six feet tall," he said.

"I'll be sure to remember that. So, what brings you onto the sidewalk in the middle of the pouring rain?" I asked, blinking away the drops of rain clinging to my eyelashes.

"I was actually just walking. I was bored," he explained.

"Ah," I nodded. I was growing to like the strange young man, but he was still quite confusing.

"Would you like to come back to my apartment with me and have some tea? I was just on my way home," he offered. I could tell he hadn't been in London long, given he still said apartment instead of flat.

"That would be wonderful," I nodded, eager to get out of the rain.

I was already soaked to the bone, and while it would take a lot to get me out of my good mood, a cold was the last thing I needed. The team could barely handle my pronounced Scottish accent as it was, lord knows they wouldn't be able to put up with it if I was all stuffy. I could have slapped myself upside the back of the head for thinking such silly, trivial thoughts, but the good mood I'd had since leaving the doctor's office yesterday was still present. Mostly because I couldn't fully push Claudia's image from my mind in spite of my efforts to concentrate.

"Nice place," I said when we arrived at Joseph's flat and I looked around.

It was clean to the point of being pristine, and the books lining the bookshelves were all extremely well kept hardcover editions. Nothing seemed out of place at all, as if Joseph possessed OCD. Judging from the way he fussily straightened a framed photograph on the wall, he probably did.

"Feel free to make yourself comfortable while I fix tea," he said, motioning to the couch before disappearing into the kitchen.

While he was gone, I continued to study the spacious flat. Everything from the large window that took up most of one wall to the bookcases that took up most of the other walls made the place look every inch Joseph's. I looked up at the picture he'd been straightening and saw it was of a man strikingly similar to Joseph, a tall redheaded woman, and a young black haired boy with blue eyes. I could only assume that the little boy had been Joseph years ago.

"That my father, my mother, and me," he explained when he came back and noticed me looking at the picture.

"I wasn't try to snoop around, I just couldn't help but notice how much the two of you look alike," I said, taking a sip of the tea and letting the warm liquid coat my throat.

"Looked alike," he corrected. "They're both dead," he said flatly, looking distanced and closed off but not self pitying.

"I'm very sorry," I said with a sympathetic nod. I knew where he was coming from, both of my parents were also passed on. It was just sad that he was so young and without parents.

"So, how have you been doing? Has your spine been acting up?" he asked, deliberately changing the subject. His family was a sore topic, apparently.

"Actually, aside from aching a little this morning, I haven't felt a thing. I'm pretty sure that surgery did its job," I said, and he nodded in relief.

I couldn't help but notice as he sat curled up in an armchair, with his soaked clothing molded against him, how fragile and vulnerable he looked. Something about the man triggered the same paternal instinct Connor did. They were definitely two different people, that much was obvious, but the obvious strength that laid under the surface was a common trait between them.

"So, tell me about Claudia," he began with a smile.

"How do you know about Claudia?" I asked immediately.

"She called me this morning to ask how quickly I could get those tests run so you could get back to work. She didn't say what you needed to get back to work on, but she sounded awfully impatient," he said.

"That's my Claudia for you," I laughed, taking another sip of tea.

"_Your_ Claudia?" he repeated amusedly.

I hadn't even realized I'd called her "my" Claudia until he brought it to my attention, and then I blushed like a total fool. _Good grief, you're acting like a lovesick teenager, _I scolded myself.

"I take it she's your girlfriend then," Joseph said when he noticed the faint blush painting my face.

"I don't have any earthly idea," I admitted. "I've kissed her a couple times and she let me take her out to lunch yesterday, but I don't have any idea if we're even technically dating. I really should talk to her about it," I said, surprising myself with how easy it was to talk to someone I barely knew. Something about the doctor made him seem oddly approachable.

"You're in love with her," he said. It was a statement, not a question. "It's written all over your face," he added upon seeing my puzzled look.

"Yeah. I do love her," I murmured, half to him and half to myself.

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

"So, what brings you by?" Abby asked as she waved me in.

"I was actually just hoping we could talk. I know you don't really know me that well, but-"

"Claudia it's fine," she laughed, walking into the kitchen and then returning with a cup of tea.

"Thank you. Actually, I was hoping you might give me some advice," I said, picking at the hem of my blouse.

"Is this about Nick?" she asked, leaning forwards. I shifted uncomfortably in the armchair I'd situated myself in, and a slow grin spread across her face.

"This _is _about Nick," she said if my sudden discomfort was all the answer she needed.

"Alright fine, it's about Nick," I said, taking a drink of tea to stall.

"Well, what's going on with you two?" she asked.

"That's the thing. I have no idea," I said.

"Have the two of you kissed?"

"Twice."

"Well then I'd say the two of you are official," she said, raising her eyebrows.

"He's still technically married to Helen, and we don't even know where that woman is," I sighed.

"I think we can safely assume he's over her," Abby said. Seeing my hesitation to continue, she added, "You love him, don't you?"

"Yes. I have no doubt in my mind about that, I just don't know how he feels about me," I said.

"I would have to be blind not to see how he looks at you. He loves you, Claudia," she assured me, but doubt still ate away at me.

"For once, I wish love didn't have to be so complicated," I said.

She laughed. "Since when has love ever been easy?"

I smiled as well. "True enough."

"_It's so hard to tell what's in your heart. What you keep to yourself is tearing me apart. And should I be afraid to dream about you? And if you feel the same, what you gonna do?" _~Alexz Johnson

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**This was pretty much just a filler chapter, sorry for any boringness. I will do my best to update soon, but I also need to write a chapter for my Vampire Diaries story, Bleeding Love. **

**Thanks for reading and reviewing :-)**


	9. Dancing With You

"_Well I'm going home, back to the place where I belong, and where your love has always been enough for me. I'm not running from, no I think you got me all wrong. I don't regret this life I chose for me." _~Daughtry

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

"Fine, fine. Cutter, welcome back. If you expect me to blow balloons and throw you a welcome party, I'm firing you again," Lester said. Nick, Abby, Connor, Stephen and I all stood in his office when he signed the papers for Nick's reinstatement.

"Though the party bit isn't a bad idea," Stephen said.

"You'll take any excuse for a party, won't you?" Abby sighed, looking over at him.

"Parties equal women in party clothes. Party clothes equal miniskirts. Enough said," he replied.

"You are hopeless," she laughed.

"But really, I think it could be fun too," Connor agreed.

"Lovely. Well, when an anomaly opens up and eats everyone at this little party, I'm going to go throw my own party in celebration," Lester muttered, and then returned his attention to his paperwork. With that clear dismissal, we exited his office.

"I don't suppose you would agree to letting us throw you a party, Professor?" Connor asked Nick as we walked out of the Home Office.

"Not a chance," he replied.

"Too bad, we're throwing you one anyway," Stephen said.

Nick sighed. "I take it I'm outnumbered then?"

I grinned and looped my arm through his. "You most definitely are."

"Come on Claudia, you and I can go have lunch and start planning," Abby said.

"Sounds like a plan," I nodded.

"I'll see you later," Nick said, giving me a quick parting kiss. It was only a quick kiss, but it was on the lips, and the easy intimacy of it gave me renewed hope for the relationship we had started.

* * *

"You and Nick finally official then?" Abby asked as we ate lunch and started a guest list.

I didn't bother trying to hide my smile. "I think so," I said, feeling like a teenager with her first crush all over again.

"Well, congratulations," she said.

"Thank you. So, what about you and Connor?"

She looked up quickly. "What about me and Connor?"

"The two of you live together for god's sake, and it's obvious you're head over heels for each other," I said, and she blushed awkwardly.

"We're not dating, if that's what you mean," she said, picking at her food thoughtfully.

"Not yet," I retorted.

"There is no 'yet' about it. He and I are just friends," she replied.

"Ah. Of course you are," I said disbelievingly.

**Nick's P.O.V.**

"You do know that a worn out tee-shirt and jeans isn't going to cut it for a party, right?" Stephen said as we walked into my flat. He'd agreed to help me figure out what to wear for the welcome back party I apparently wasn't getting out of, and lord knows I needed his help. Partying was really not my thing.

"Well then what will?" I asked, my accent thickening with impatience.

"Hold on a second," he mumbled, walking over to my closet. He rifled through the few dress clothes on hangars, pulling what he didn't need out and throwing them behind him. By the time he found what he was looking for, I was practically swallowed up by the pile of discarded clothing that had landed promptly on me for the most part. I irritably flicked a shirt sleeve from my eye, and I heard Stephen chuckle softly.

"I think I found something," he said.

"Good, because if you throw anymore clothes behind you then I'm going to die of suffocation!" I said exasperatedly.

"Na, I just may need to get a shovel to get all the clothes off of you," he replied with a grin.

"Anyways, what did you find?" I asked, pushing the stray items of clothing off and walking over to him. He held up a vivid blue dress silk shirt and black jeans, but I was shaking my head before he could get a word out.

"I am not wearing any form of dress clothing," I said immediately.

"C'mon, don't be such a stick in the mud," he chastised, tossing the clothes to me. "And try to do something with that hair while you're at it. You look like a cockatoo," he added, motioning to my unruly mess of blond hair.

I trudged into the bathroom and reluctantly slid into the clothes, shocked that the dress shirt still fit. I hadn't worn it in years. I looked in the mirror, staring doubtfully at my hair. It had never laid down a day in its life, somehow I didn't think it was going to start now. Still, per Stephen's request, I began combing it and trying to make it look at least somewhat orderly. After some very tedious work, it was actually behaving, laying down flat save for the one stray strand that hung in my eyes and refused to go into place. Oh well. It was going to have to due.

"Hey, you don't look too bad old man," Stephen smiled when I came out.

"I thought I told you to stop calling me that," I said.

He pointedly ignored my last statement and said, "So, will this be your first official date with Claudia?"

I tilted my head, considering. "That depends. It will be if she wants it to be."

"You should ask her," he shrugged.

"You know what, Stephen? I think I will," I nodded, deciding I was done dancing around our relationship. After all, the worst she could do would be say no and we could go back to being good friends. I worried that it would be awkward between us if she wanted to keep things platonic, but it was still worth a try.

"It's about time you got some action," he said.

"Good lord, not all relationships are solely about sex!" I scolded him.

"No, but the women sure to seem to like it," he said with a wolfish grin. I slapped him upside the back of the head, but he only laughed.

"So Nick, are you ready for your date?" he asked, motioning to me.

I reluctantly grabbed my jacket and looked down at the piece of paper that Connor had written the address to the nightclub on. "I suppose so."

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

I gave myself an appraising glance in the mirror, trying to decide if I as ready. I'd spent thirty minutes getting my hair just right, and it now fell in loose waves past my shoulders. I also wore glossy red lipstick and a little bit of smoky eye-shadow. A black halter top fit snugly against my bust but fell loosely across my stomach, and my dark, tight skinny jeans were completely different from what I usually wore. I walked out into my room and then put on my black strappy high heels.

I heard a knock at the door and felt my heart skip a beat. Nick was here. Suddenly feeling silly and shallow for going to all this trouble with my appearance, I nervously answered the door. Nick looked positively amazing in his blue silk button down and black jeans, and I found it hard not to stare. It was the closest thing he'd ever done to dressing up.

And just as I couldn't tear my eyes from him, he seemed to be rendered speechless as well. He struggled to keep his eyes on my face and not other places, and I fought to hold back a smile. Maybe all the worry over my appearance had been worth it after all.

"Well, ah, are you ready to go?" he asked, holding out his arm.

"Absolutely," I smiled, taking his arm and smiling at him when he opened the passenger side door of his car for me. I couldn't help but to be endeared to the way he behaved like a perfect old fashioned gentleman.

"You look gorgeous," he said as he pulled out onto the street.

I blushed, hoping it was too dark in the evening light for him to notice. "You don't look too bad yourself."

When we arrived at the nightclub, my heart was thumping erratically in my chest. Being out at a club with Nick felt so dangerously close to a date that I had to force myself not to get my hopes up. Yet still, in spite of my attempts, a tiny glimmer of hope lit up in me. A smile spread across my face, and my stomach suddenly felt fluttery. I hadn't had these feelings since I was a teenager and I welcomed the warm sensations spreading through me.

"Would you like to dance?" he offered when we got in.

"I would love to," I answered, allowing him to pull me out onto the dance floor.

The song was fast, but my body easily matched it rhythm for rhythm. My hips moved easily, and my heart thumped harder when Nick's arms circled from me behind. I leaned back against him, moving to the beat of the song. I shivered when I realized his hands were just barely under the edge of my top and his fingers brushed against my bare skin. I was so overwhelmed with desire I could barely see straight. I slid myself even closer to him, causing the fabric of my shirt to ride up slightly, and then his hands were resting fully against bare skin. I swayed with him, trying not to focus too hard on the intense reaction elicited by his hands resting on my stomach under my shirt.

The song changed to something different but still upbeat, and I recognized it as "Follow Me Down" by 3OH!3, a band Abby listened to at work sometimes. Just when I thought the rush of lust overtaking me was going to start fully controlling my actions, Nick turned me around in his arms and brought his lips roughly to mine. My fingers buried themselves in his hair, and I parted my lips to allow his tongue entrance. My body was pressed tightly to his, molded to his as if it belonged there. His hands now rested on my bare back under my shirt, and I clung to him with a need and hunger that was nearly overwhelming.

"_Angel take my hand and dance, it's my last chance for romance. We'll be dancing through the night, it's all right…Take my hand, walk with me, and then I will make you see. The rest of my life, what I'll do. I'll be dancing with you." _~Malice In Wonderland

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**I sincerely apologize for the total lack of dialogue in the end of this chapter, but my smuff bunny (the baby that my smut and fluff bunnies had, in case you're wondering) got carried away. Sorry about that! Also, if you want to check out the list of must read fan fictions on my profile, there are some amazing stories you should be sure to read! They are all absolutely brilliant authors. BTW, this chapter is dedicated to CakeyxClickx for her awesome reviews :-)**

**And of course thank you so much to everyone that has read and reviewed!**


	10. So You Had A Bad Day

**Nick's P.O.V.**

"I had an amazing time tonight," Claudia said as I walked her to her flat after we left the party.

"So did I," I nodded, still trying to regain my composure that had been lost due to the kissing we'd done on the dance floor. "Maybe we could do it again sometime," I suggested.

She smiled up at me, her eyes warm and open. "I would love that."

"Good then. How about we have dinner?" I suggested.

"Sounds perfect. When?"

"Does tomorrow sound alright?"

"Sure, that would be great," she said, a smile still gracing her features.

"Well then, I'll see you tomorrow night, say around six-thirty?"

"I will see you then," she said, leaning up and pressing her lips briefly to mine before walking into her flat.

I stared after her, eyes still fixed on where she'd been even after the door closed. Finally. We actually had a date. The prospect excited me to no end, and I couldn't fully repress a grin from spreading across my face. In spite of the fact I didn't even come remotely close to deserving her, Claudia Brown had just agreed to go out on a date with me.

* * *

"As I'm sure Claudia informed you over the phone, we have a new anomaly," Lester said the following day as we stood around in his office. Claudia had called us all to inform us our presence was requested, so here we were.

"Do we know what era it's from yet?" Connor asked.

"All I have to work on is a confused but surprisingly not hysterical young man that is claiming that he saw a dinosaur. And given I don't know the difference between a perm and a Permian, you idiots can figure out where it's from on your own," he replied.

"Is the witness here?" I asked.

"Yes, he's down in the lobby."

"I'll go ask him some questions about what he saw and see if we can get any idea on what kind of dinosaur it is. Stephen, you take Connor and Abby out to wherever this man saw it and start looking for the anomaly. I'll meet you there as soon as I'm done with our witness," I said, exiting the office.

When I walked down to the lobby, I could barely believe it when I saw the familiar young man standing in a corner with his arms crossed, looking very out of his element. I would know that lab coat and unruly black hair anywhere.

"Fancy seeing you here Dr. Noir," I said as I walked over.

He looked totally calm and collected for someone that had just seen a dinosaur. "Nick," he nodded in greeting.

"So, do you know what kind of dinosaur you saw?" I asked quietly, aware of the other people buzzing around the lobby.

"It wasn't very large at all. It was smaller than my cat, actually. Light brown leathery skin, two very large front teeth, and it didn't seem very bright," he explained.

"Sounds like a Diictodon," I said.

"I don't know what it is, but it chewed up my lab coat," he said, and I just then noticed that the hem of his lab coat was frayed and very obviously chewed.

"Diictodons have a bad habit of chewing everything in sight, they are quite similar to goats in that way," I said.

"Well there's about fifteen of them running around my apartment," he replied calmly, looking as unfazed as ever.

"Did you see anything else that struck you as odd?" I asked.

"Yes, actually. There was something in my bedroom. It was spherical, a goldish white color, and it looked like it was surrounded by broken fragments of light," he said.

"An anomaly," I murmured to myself.

"A what?" Joseph asked.

"Nothing," I said quickly.

I was going to say something else, but suddenly I was dizzy and a sharp pain was spreading down my spine. _Oh come on, not now, _I thought, but the piercing pain didn't subside. I had to bite down hard on my lip to keep the cries of pain held back. This was far and away the worst of the spells yet, for it wasn't passing like they usually did. I braced my hand against the wall for support.

"We need to get you to the hospital," Joseph said.

"No, no. It'll pass. You can't tell anyone about this little incident, alright? Promise me you won't tell anyo-" I was cut off because another searing pain ripped through my back, and I closed my eyes and tried to focus on not making a sound.

"But Nick-" he began.

"Don't you 'but Nick' me. I will be just fine," I said, biting back the cries building in my throat as excruciating pain raced up and down my spine.

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

"Aw, they're so cute!" Connor cooed.

Diictodons were overtaking the witness's flat, chewing everything in sight. Abby and Connor thought they were simply precious. I was already thinking of a way to explain the creatures to the man that'd seen them, but how could I possibly do that? They couldn't be passed off as anything that escaped from the zoo; they were too obviously nothing from the modern world. And they were definitely too active to be passed off as high-tech models for a new movie or some other line I usually feed the witnesses.

"We have a problem," Stephen said as he emerged from the bedroom.

"What?" I asked.

"The anomaly is closed. These little…" he looked down at the small dinosaurs scampering around his feet, searching for a word. "…_creatures_, are stuck." He said "creatures" with a distaste that suggested he immensely disliked the Diictodons. I couldn't say I blamed him, at the moment I didn't much like them either. A disgruntled, very large tabby cat was sitting atop one of the many bookcases, apparently not liking the creatures any more than Stephen and I did. I pulled out my mobile and dialed Lester.

"James Lester," he answered.

"We have a problem," I said.

"Yes, I know. He's blond, his brain is approximately the same size as a pea, and his name is Nick Cutter," he replied.

"That's not funny," I snapped. "Anyways, the anomaly is closed and we have somewhere around fifteen or sixteen Diictodons running loose in out witness's apartment," I explained.

"Well isn't that just wonderful. I have no idea what a Ickydon is, but-"

"Diictodon," I corrected.

"Look, I don't care if it's wearing high heels and a miniskirt, get the damn things in a cage and feed some lie or another to our witness. Do you your job, Claudia. Cutter can handle sending the confounded pests home," he said, and then hung up.

"So what are we going to do with the little guys?" Connor asked. Him and Abby were each holding one, cuddling with them like they were teddy bears.

"Can't we just take them to the animal shelter and say they're mixed breeds?" Stephen said sarcastically.

"While that would make my job loads easier, sadly I need to come up with something believable to tell the witness," I sighed.

"Can we please just keep two of them?" Connor pleaded, giving me the big brown eyes that worked on Abby every time. But unfortunately for him, I wasn't Abby.

"Absolutely not," I replied.

"But-"

"There is no 'but' to it. The answer is no, Connor," I said, trying not to lose my temper with him. It wasn't his fault I was having a bad day.

"Sorry I'm late, I got a little tied up talking to Joseph," Nick said as he walked into the flat.

"On first name terms with the witness?" I laughed.

"He's my doctor, actually."

"Well it would figure. Now that you're here to keep an eye on tweedle geek and tweedle blond," I said, motioning to where Connor and Abby were still holding a couple of Diictodons, "I'm going to go see if I can get your doctor to believe some lie or another," I said.

"Oh you don't have to worry about that. For one, he's well aware they are real and truly dinosaurs. Two, he's not going to tell anyone. I made sure he knew the importance of that, and not to mention he doesn't have anyone to tell," he said.

I grinned and gave him a quick kiss. "Nick, you are a lifesaver."

"Professor, can I have a pet Diictodon?" Connor pleaded.

"Connor, you know that dinosaurs are not to be kept as pets," he replied, but I could see that his expression was already softening.

"But Abby has Rex!" he protested. "Come on, please Nick?"

Nick looked at Connor for another few moments before answering. "Alright fine, but it Lester finds out then don't you think I'm taking the blame," he said, voice firm but visibly holding back a smile.

"Thank you Professor!" Connor cried happily, and high fived Abby with the hand not cradling a Diictodon. "Hmm, how about…Sid and Nancy," he said, looking between the dinosaurs he and Abby held.

Abby grinned at him. "Sid and Nancy it is."

Nick and I shared a small smile, and I decided that maybe this wasn't too bad of a day after all.

"_Because you had a bad day, you're taking one down. You sing a sad song just to turn it around. You say you don't know, you tell me don't lie. You work at a smile and you go for a ride." _~Daniel Powter

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Yes, I know that Sid and Nancy weren't around until Series 3, but I couldn't resist putting them in here! They are just the most adorable creatures in the planet (them and Rex, of course). This is pretty much another filler chapter, but I can't seem to get my mind back on track with writing as of right now. I'm going to be starting a new Lester and Jenny fic when I finish this one (the description is on my profile) and I am also eventually going to write a sequel to Caught In Between per Squabble's request:-)**** It's just going to focus on Joseph and James The Second, but I'm not 100% sure what it's going to be about yet.**

**And also, the link to the trailer for this story is on my profile if you get bored, and of course don't forget to check out the list of must read fan fictions. If you like Secker then I recommend Hostage(and of course its sequel Not Letting Go) by Squabble, or if you like stories with the whole cast then I recommend Survivors, also by Squabble. And most definitely go and read Someone's Watching Over Me by drodgers89, I guarantee it is the best Connor and Abby story you will ever read! It's only three chapters in but she updates ver frequently :D**

**Wow, I didn't realize I had been rambling that long! Haha I'm done now, promise. As always, thanks so very much for reading and reviewing!**


	11. Problems We Could Solve

_"And everyday I see the news, all the problems we could solve." _~OneRepublic

**Nick's P.O.V.**

"We have a problem," Lester said as we stood in his office the following day. We had yet another new anomaly.

"There were dinosaur sightings, but not here," Claudia finished for him.

"Then where?" I asked.

"America."

"Alright, a road trip!" Connor said happily, earning a reproving glare from Stephen.

"It's all over the media," Claudia sighed, shaking her head.

"We'll have to go down and check it out then," Stephen said.

"Where exactly in America is it?" Abby asked.

"Some place called Biltmore, it's some big tourist destination there," Claudia explained.

"Well then, we'll fly out in the morning. Everyone go home and pack, and Claudia can take care of travel arrangements," Lester said.

"We?" I repeated, eyebrows raised.

"Yes, we. I need to be there to keep all of you nitwits in line," he said, opening a file that sat on his desk.

"Cool, our first anomaly that's not in London!" Connor exclaimed.

"This isn't a vacation, guys. We'll have work to do," I said, but Connor was too busy talking animatedly to Abby and Stephen had already left.

"I've always wanted to travel," Claudia commented offhandedly as we exited Lester's office.

"You got your wish. This will be one hell of a trip," I said, my hand finding hers as we walked, and her fingers interlaced with mine.

"What is your doctor doing here?" she asked suddenly, and I looked up to see Joseph approaching.

"That is an excellent question," I said worriedly. I had gotten him to agree not to tell anyone about my spell yesterday; he hadn't gone and changed his mind had he?

"What are you doing here?" I asked cautiously as he walked up.

"After you left the Home Office yesterday to go to my apartment and handle the Diictodon problem, I called Connor and told him to let me know if ever you guys were going to be leaving London," he informed me.

"Why would you care if we left London?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"You really think I'm going to let my cancer ridden patient leave without someone to look after him?" he asked, tilting his head and smiling. It was a smile that clearly said _After what happened yesterday, you really think I'm letting you go anywhere without a doctor's supervision? _I could tell he meant well and he was worried for me, but I didn't need a bloody babysitter.

"That's really not necessary," I protested.

"If you think I am staying here, worrying myself sick, while you go off chasing dinosaurs, then you are positively out of your mind Nick," he said. His voice was quiet and calm as always, but I could tell by his slightly stiff posture that he wasn't backing off of this.

"Well then go home and pack," I sighed.

Lester called Claudia to his office, and I watched her walk away briefly before returning my attention to Joseph. He looked genuinely worried, and I found myself unable to stay angry at him for insisting he came with us.

"When should I meet you guys at the airport?" he asked.

"Tomorrow morning, I'll call you later when I get an exact time."

He gave me a quick nod before walking off, and I heard the click of high-heels as Claudia walked back up beside me.

"You understand that a civilian should not be involved with this don't you?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

I stared after the retreating figure that was my headstrong doctor. "He means well."

"If anything happens because of him, then you are taking full responsibility for it," she warned, but a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. I nodded and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, leading her out of the Home Office.

**Joseph's P.O.V.**

When I arrived back at my apartment, I was in everything short of a worried frenzy. I had seen Nick yesterday; he had almost passed out from the pain this time. I had told him it was going to get worse before it got better and that was true, but I positively hated seeing people in pain. Not to mention the fact Nick had become something of a friend since I had begun treating him, and that made it about ten times worse.

My large tabby tomcat padded up and rubbed up against my legs, requesting my attention. I smiled and picked him up, laughing when he immediately began purring. I had the feline absolutely spoiled rotten. When I'd first gotten him I'd thought he was female and named him Duchess, but when the vet informed me he was a boy I'd shortened it to Dutch. I scratched him behind the ears briefly before sitting him back on the ground.

I went and pulled my black leather suitcase from the bedroom closet before throwing clothes into it. Mainly more of what I usually wore; button down shirts and slacks. I wore the same outfit even in the middle of summer. After packing everything I would need into the large leather case, I wandered out into the living room and then over to the window. A large glass panel took up almost the entirety of one wall, a spacious window that overlooked London. Where I lived now reminded me a lot of my apartment back in Manhattan, which is where I had lived until the age of twenty-two. I had then moved here, but five years later I still wasn't completely used to London.

Sighing, I sat down on the couch and pulled the copies of Nick's X-rays off of the coffee table and looked at them for the millionth time since I'd taken them. They were the proof that the surgery had helped, but the damage his illness had done to him was glaringly obvious. It was obvious both in the X-rays and in his everyday behavior. He put up a very believable front that he was fine, but I could tell from the dark circles under his eyes and the way he sometimes moved stiffly that he was going through hell.

Nick later called to let me know when to be at the airport in the morning, and I stayed awake worrying myself over him until I finally fell asleep on the couch.

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

The next day before I went to the airport, I found myself knocking on Joseph's door. Nick seemed to be getting worse, and I needed to know what I could do for him. Every time I asked if there was anything I could do, he simply told me he was fine and then changed the subject. Also, we'd had to postpone our date because we had to pack and take care of travel arrangements, which I wasn't too happy about. He'd promised we'd go out as soon as we got back, though.

Joseph answered the door looking about as worried and disheveled as I felt, his unruly black hair in even more of a mess than usual and dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn't slept well. I can imagine that I must not look much better, I had thrown on very little make-up before running out the door and in spite of my efforts, I hadn't been able to get my hair up into its usual upsweep so I'd just let it fall past my shoulders without making an effort to tame it.

"I was hoping I could talk to you for a minute before we have to go to the airport," I said.

"Sure, come in," he said, stepping back.

I walked by him into his flat and heard him close the door behind me. I felt uneasy showing up at the flat of a man I didn't even know, but I needed to ask him about Nick. Still, something about the doctor's quiet voice and constant calm unnerved me. He motioned for me to take a seat and then went into the kitchen briefly before returning with two cups of tea. I nodded in thanks as he perched next to me on the couch.

"I want to talk to you about Nick," I said, cutting right to the chase.

"I figured as much," he replied with a small smile.

"Is there anything I can do to make this easier for him?" I asked.

He sighed and leaned back, raking his fingers through his hair. The sunlight coming through the window behind us accentuated the way the dark circles under his eyes stood out against his ivory colored skin. And even though he was far from my type and I was far too much in love with Nick to even remotely consider the idea of another man, I couldn't help but notice how handsome Joseph was. Handsome to the point of being gorgeous, really.

"That's what I have been trying to figure out since I got the results back. It is going to get worse before it gets better as I'm sure he told you, but the problem is that no one can make it hurt any less. I have done everything I possibly can in the medical sense, but other than that all you can do is be there for him," he said.

"I already had every intention of being there for him, I just wish I could make it easier for him," I said.

"So do I," he agreed, and then rose to his feet. "I suppose we should get going."

"True. We don't want to be late," I said, also getting to my feet. He took the empty teacups into the kitchen and rinsed them out before grabbing his suitcase and dragging it along behind him as we left his flat.

"What are you going to do about the cat?" I asked curiously, motioning the cat asleep on the end of couch.

"Another doctor I work with is going to take care of Dutch while I'm gone."

I nodded and followed him outside. He pulled a key from his pocket and walked over to a red Ferrari California, which was an absolutely gorgeous car. It had a black convertible top and not a single scratch on the pain job.

"I'll see you at the airport," I said, giving him a quick parting wave before getting into my own car.

When I pulled out and began driving, I felt an odd sensation prickling against the back of my neck. I tried to tell myself I was just paranoid, but I had the strangest feeling I was being watched.

"_Are you afraid to sleep? Are you scared there's no stability, are you afraid of your own fragility?" _~Pauley Perrette.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**This is sort of a two part chapter, the next part is when they get to Biltmore. There is some major Claudia and Nick fluff in this next chapter, which I will try to post soon but I need to add another chapter to my TVD fic. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing everyone:-)**


	12. Everything We Are Fades To Black

**Author's Note:**

**Warning: there is a majorly fluffy scene in here, just Claudia and Nick misbehaving and being a little OOC -) And as always, thanks for reading and reviewing!**

* * *

"_Leave everybody sleeping in this sleepy town tonight." _~Love and Theft

**Nick's P.O.V.**

About halfway into long flight to America, I glanced around to find almost everyone asleep. Claudia, who was sitting next to me, had fallen asleep with her head on my shoulder. Stephen, who had been sitting across from Connor and Abby, was asleep and snoring loud enough to possibly crash the plane. Joseph, who was sitting in the back by himself, was also asleep but unlike Stephen was completely silent. The only person awake besides me was Lester, who looked absolutely bored as he read a book he held open in his lap. Even he looked on the brink of falling asleep.

I stroked Claudia's hair as she slept, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head. I didn't know how much longer it would be before we landed, but my muscles were growing stiff to the point of being painful. I shifted slightly, careful not to wake Claudia. She only murmured something inaudibe in her sleep and moved closer. I leaned back in my seat and, like everyone else on the plane, fell asleep.

* * *

When we finally landed, we were all jetlagged up one side and down the other. It took Stephen five minutes to get me awake, and then he almost got his head bitten off when he woke Lester. Joseph was in absolute disarray, his clothing disheveled and his hair in a tangled mess. Claudia was still asleep, and I promptly growled at Stephen when he went to wake her up. I picked her up and carried her off the plane, ignoring Lester's eye rolling. We all looked like a mess, our hair tangled and mussed and our clothes out of order. Lester looked particularly irritated with his appearance, and I couldn't hold back a slight smile of amusement as he pulled a comb from his pocket and began pulling his hair back into place.

"Nick?" Claudia mumbled.

"Morning beautiful," I smiled.

"You can put me down now," she said, and I gave her a quick kiss before gently sitting her on her feet.

A button at the top of her blouse had come undone in her sleep, and I reached out and quickly buttoned it for her. I was about to pull my fingers away when my hand accidentally brushed bare skin, and I found myself frozen in place just as she was. My fingers had just barely brushed her chest, but that one small accident had left us both very affected.

I heard an exasperated sigh from behind us. "If the two of you are going to rip each other's clothes off, could you please be so kind as to wait until you're alone? There are small children present," Lester said, throwing a pointed glance at Abby and Connor.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Right," I stuttered, pulling my hand away.

"We should be going," Claudia breathed, blushing.

"To get yourselves a hotel room from the looks of it," Lester muttered under his breath.

"Oh shut up Lester!" Claudia snapped, her blush deepening.

"We should get to Biltmore guys," Stephen said, who had been watching with amusement as I made a complete idiot of myself acting like an awkward teenager.

"Yes," Claudia agreed, and we collected our luggage and took care of everything we needed to before leaving the airport and splitting up into the rental cars we'd had brought ahead of time.

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

"Oh my god, this place is gorgeous," I said when I caught sight of Biltmore. Everything from the huge, colorful garden to its amazing structure was just breathtaking.

"Maybe we'll take care of the anomaly and still have a little time to look around before we have to go back to London," Nick said.

We got out of the car and walked into the entryway of the grand castle, and a guard approached immediately. He began peppering us with questions, and I irritably pulled out my mobile and dialed Lester, who said he'd be here in a moment. The guard was still asking us just about a million questions when he finally walked up.

"James Lester," he introduced himself, and the guard stiffened instantly.

Our cover was that we were just curious tourists here from London, and Lester was playing the role of the filthy rich bureaucrat to buy our way through it, promising money or whatever to the people in our way wanted. Pretty much the same thing he did back in London; used money and power to get his way.

"Yes of course, right this way sir," the guard stammered, introducing us to the tour guide.

Soon we were being toured around the vast place, being shown around and having its history explained to us. I played the overly eager girlfriend of Nick's wanting to know all the facts whilst Nick and Lester looked around for any traces of anomalies or dinosaurs. The rest of the team were in various other areas on the grounds searching for the same things. The media headlined it "Dinosaur Attacks In Biltmore?," but it didn't say _where_ in Biltmore.

Suddenly our tour guide's mobile started ringing, and she excused herself briefly. In her absence, we began searching with more detail. Nick pulled out a compass and began pacing the halls; something he couldn't very well do with the chipper tour guide yapping at us. Connor had tweaked the compass to give it better range, which we would need given the size of the estate. Lester went in one direction and Nick and I went in another.

As we started down a hall, I curiously wandered into a large bedroom. It was stunning and amazingly well preserved. Dark wood that looked stunning against red fabrics made the room seem almost like something out of a fairytale. And given we were technically in a castle, the fairytale thing wasn't that far of a stretch. I couldn't resist running my fingers over the velvet chaise lounge and staring at the huge, intricately carved fireplace.

I knew we needed to be working and no one was supposed to touch the furniture, but I couldn't resist flouncing down on the massive four poster canopy bed. The guards were busy downstairs and our tour guide was nowhere to be found, so I let myself enjoy a small moment of simple pleasure as I sprawled out on the velvety duvet. I was about to rise to my feet when I felt lips gently catch mine, and I leaned into Nick's kiss without hesitation.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself closer. In spite of knowing this was the last place we needed to be kissing, no one was around and I just couldn't help myself. Nick couldn't seem to help himself either, for he pushed me back down on the bed and came down on top of me. He brought out my wild and reckless side, a side I hadn't even known existed until he came along. The kiss deepened rapidly, and my heart began racing wildly as his hand gently reached under my shirt and stroked my side. His fingers against my bare skin elicited a shiver, and I couldn't repress a small noise of pleasure as his lips traveled down my neck.

I was confused when he got to his feet, but after closing the door, he returned to me. I eagerly pressed my lips back to his, heedless of our location. My desire for him had been repressed for too long as it was and his kiss had only caused my resistance to slip completely. The tension between us had been nearly palpable since his fingers had accidentally touched me at the airport.

He easily unbuttoned and slid my blouse from my shoulders, and I rose to my knees on the bed and pulled his tee-shirt over his head. My hands ran down his bare chest, and then I pushed him down against the bed and began trailing my lips down his torso, going from his neck to just above the waistband of his jeans and then back to his neck.

I situated my knees on either side of his waist so that I was straddling him and then leaned down to kiss him again. He ran his fingers down my spine, which was completely bare save for my black lace bra. I was in such a desired frenzy that reality was slowly going to small, fragmented pieces. I reached for his belt buckle but suddenly heard footsteps. _Oh hell, _I thought.

I looked over my shoulder at the door just in time to see Lester walk in and then turn around so fast he walked face first into the wall. I scrambled off of Nick and hurriedly pulled my blouse on and buttoned it rapidly. He pulled his shirt back on and practically fell off the bed in his hurry to get to his feet.

"That is more than I ever,_ ever _needed to see of Nick Cutter," Lester moaned to himself. He rubbed his face where he had walked into the wall, his eyes squeezed shut tightly. He looked so mortified it was almost funny.

"We're dressed Lester, you can open you're eyes now," Nick laughed, seeming more amused than embarrassed. I was so humiliated I wanted to find a rock to go crawl under.

"What the _hell_ were you thinking doing _that _in _Biltmore Estate_?" he demanded, infuriately spatting out almost every other word.

"Umm…" Nick trailed off and scratched the back of his neck, at a loss for an answer.

I was also in lieu of an answer, I had no idea what we had been thinking. Lester, for once, was right. What _had_ we been thinking?

"Oh good lord," Lester muttered, seemingly more to himself than Nick and I. "Well, if the two of you are interested, Joseph and Stephen found the anomaly. If not, then feel free to proceed, but _please_ wait until I am out of the room first," he added exasperatedly.

"Where is it?" Nick asked, suddenly attentive.

"Finally, something that interests Cutter besides Claudia's…" he trailed off at Nick's scathing glare. "Ah, anyways, it's in the garden behind the estate," he explained.

"Let's go," I said, walking by Lester and out of the room. I was so embarrassed I could barely look anyone in the eyes without blushing.

We reached the garden and were a few meters in before we saw the anomaly, looking as bright and glittering as ever. The rest of the team already stood waiting on us, which made me blush all over again even though they had no idea what Nick and I had just been doing. The dinosaurs, which Connor informed me were herbivores, munched contently on the flora. They looked harmless, which was well and fine, but what about the mauled bodies that had been found? These seemingly peaceful creatures definitely weren't the culprits.

I was just about to voice my confusion when Nick cried, "Claudia look out!"

Then everything faded to black.

"_Everything you are fades to black. Every time I see your face, screaming the secrets we share, we fade to black." _~Alexz Johnson


	13. Miles From Where You Are

**Author's Note:**

**This chapter switches P.O.V.s more than most, sorry if it gets too confusing. The wonderful OC Caspar (he's brought in later in this chapter) belongs to Squabble, who kindly let me borrow him:-)**** He first showed up in her fan fiction "Survivors" which an awesome fic you should be sure to check out.**

**And as always, thank you so much to everyone for reading and reviewing!**

* * *

"_I was in my early forties, with a lot of life before me, when a moment came that stopped me on a dime." _~Tim McGraw

**Nick's P.O.V.**

We hadn't seen it coming. We hadn't been able to speak soon enough. It had just…happened. It had taken twenty-seven years for Claudia Brown to become the woman she is and come this far, yet it had only taken a split second to very possibly end that life. It took everything I had not to let my body fall into the shocked, catatonic state it so desperately wanted to. At the moment, I was barely clinging to a small sliver of reality.

One minute she had been standing there, alive and well, and then something had lunged for her and both she and the large dinosaur had fell forwards into the anomaly. The creature that had lunged for her had not been one of the peaceful herbivores, but Connor said he had no idea what it had been. It had only been there for a moment after emerging from the small thicket of woods and then attacking Claudia, but it had been unlike anything we had seen before. So large, yet so fast it had become a blur when it ran.

I stared at the blank space where the anomaly had been not five seconds ago. It was closed, leaving Claudia trapped on the other side. I heard Connor's voice trying to pull me from my trance, but I was immobilized. It wasn't until Lester slapped me hard across the face that I came to, and I blinked slowly as I tried to return to reality.

"Cutter," Lester said, trying to get my attention.

"Professor?" Connor said from where he held his compass and waited for the magnetic field to return.

"Snap out of it Cutter," Lester said, shaking my shoulders.

I numbly turned to him, surprised when his expression was one of worry. Abby stood next to him, watching me with a similar concern. I imagine I must have made quite a sight to them, standing there silently and not responding. Joseph walked over to stand on my other side.

"Nick, if we are going to find Claudia, then we need you're help. You know more about the anomalies than all of us combined. Now wake up, and we'll figure out how to get her back," Joseph said in his quiet voice, and the words _get her back _brought me fully back to earth. I turned to Joseph, who sighed in relief.

"He's back," he said.

"I never left," I snapped.

"Yes you did, you took a lovely little trip to La La Land," Lester said.

"We need to figure out if the anomaly has somehow moved. When that one opened underwater that time, it moved along the course of a fault line. If this anomaly operates the same way then we should be able to pinpoint the direction of the fault line and predict where the anomaly will reopen," I said, my mind turning furiously. I mentally consulted everything I had ever learned about the anomalies, working my thoughts overtime.

"I'll get a map," Stephen said.

I nodded and he left to go find a map whilst Joseph and Connor tweaked the compass again, trying to further extend its range.

"We'll find her," Abby said, walking over to stand next to me and laying her hand on my arm.

"I know," I lied. Because honestly, there was no guarantee when or if that anomaly would reopen.

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

I woke up to the smell of something burning. My body ached from head to toe, and I had no idea where I was. I tentatively opened my eyes to scan my surroundings. I was lying on the ground next to a fire, which was well contained and currently providing warmth against the cold and bitter air. I heard footsteps coming closer and I scrambled into a sitting position even as my aching muscles screamed in protest.

"Relax, I'm not going to hurt you," said a male voice.

As he stepped forward and the firelight illuminated his features, I saw that he looked about as bad as I must. Scratches marred his face and blood matted his hair. He also didn't look very old, I would put him in his mid twenties at most. In spite of his injuries, he was handsome, with dark brown hair and pale blue eyes.

"Who are you?" I asked hoarsely.

"Vlad Caspar. I've been stuck here for a year and a half," he said, motioning to the woodland surrounding us to show me what he meant by "here."

"Where are we?" I asked, pulling a lock of hair from my eyes.

"No idea what period, but we're in the Prehistoric times," he shrugged, sinking down onto the ground next to me. Something about his relaxed posture and easy acceptance of the fact he was in Prehistoric times made him seem approachable. I didn't know him, but I had a gut instinct that I could trust him.

"So what's your name?" he asked me.

"Claudia. Claudia Brown," I said, wincing as a shooting pain went through my arm.

The man next to me must have noticed the small movement. "Yeah, you took a pretty rough fall when he predator knocked you though," he said.

"Predator?" I repeated.

"I don't know what else to call it. It's not your average dinosaur, though. Seriously creepy," he said.

"By the way, the thing I fell through is an anomaly," I explained.

"Was an anomaly," he corrected. "Whatever an anomaly is, the one you fell through isn't there anymore," he said.

A feeling a dread began spreading through me, and I felt the blood leave my face. If the anomaly was gone, then that left me with one option. I was stuck. Trapped here with a man I didn't know. Trapped here without Nick.

"I take it from your expression that the big white hole closing is a bad thing?" he asked, absently fingering the strap of a large military gun that was lying next to him.

"A very bad thing," I agreed.

"Super. Well, I'll go hunt some food down for us. You hang here and yell if any creatures get too close. I won't be far," he said, rising to his feet and picking up the rifle he'd been fiddling with as we talked.

"Thank you Vlad," I said.

"Please, call me Caspar. Vlad makes me sound like a bad Dracula knock off," he laughed.

I found it admirable that he could even laugh in a situation like this. We were trapped in a world of dinosaurs with no way home, yet still he cracked a joke like the predicament didn't even bother him. _After being here for a year it may not bother him anymore, _I mused. I was grateful that he had brought me here, lord knows had I been left out in the open I would be dead by now. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the tree behind me, trying not to think of Nick and the possibility I may never see him again.

**Nick's P.O.V.**

"If my theory is right, then the anomaly should reopen somewhere around this area," I said, laying my finger down on the area of the map that represented downtown Asheville.

"How do we know where exactly downtown it's going to open?" Connor asked.

"That's the problem. We don't. We're going to split up and all take a different part of downtown and watch for anything suspicious that might lead us to an anomaly," I said.

"Lovely. So if we see a T-Rex strolling down Main Street, then we should probably keep an eye out for a large glittering white hole?" Lester asked sarcastically.

"I could without the sarcasm, but yes, that pretty much sums it up."

"Wonderful," he muttered.

"Are we ready to go then?" Stephen asked.

I nodded and we again split up into our rental cars, heading for downtown. I felt a small pang when the large estate disappeared in the rearview mirror, for it reminded me of when I had told Claudia I would try to make sure we found the time to explore a bit before returning to London. I clenched my jaw so hard it hurt and tried to keep my mind on the task ahead of us.

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

"Well, for something that came out of the Prehistoric era, this isn't half bad," I said after tentatively taking a bit of the small mammal Casper had skinned and cooked over the fire for us.

"It's the best we'll get around here," he shrugged.

"I suppose so," I said offhandedly, distracted by my thoughts. "Can I ask you something, Caspar?"

"Shoot," he said.

"This is kind of personal, but when you got trapped here, did you leave anyone behind? Did you get separated from anyone you cared about?" I asked.

He pursed his lips thoughtfully and ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah. I'm a military guy, and I left some friends behind that probably never stopped looking for me," he said.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said sympathetically, knowing exactly where he was coming from.

"What about you Claudia, did you leave anyone?" he asked, stretching his long legs out in front of him and resting his back against one of the many trees behind us.

"Yes," I nodded, my yearning for Nick at that moment nearly overwhelming me.

"Friend? Relative? Boyfriend?" he asked.

"Boyfriend," I said.

"Well that sucks," he said without sarcasm, seeming to genuinely feel sorry for me.

"Yeah, it does," I said with a bitter laugh.

"Who knows, maybe one of those big white holes will open again and you can go home," he said.

"They're called anomalies," I said.

"Big white hole, anomaly, call it what you will but we could really use one right now," he said.

"Undoubtedly," I agreed.

"You get some sleep, I'll keep watch for anything that wants to have us for dinner," he said, rising to his feet and clicking the safety off the large machine gun.

"I don't feel right sleeping while you have to stay awake and make sure I don't get eaten," I protested.

"Na, I enjoy keeping watch. It's been way too long since I've gotten to play target practice with one of the dinosaurs running around. They started shying away after I shot six of them," he said as if it was disappointing that they no longer came around.

"Ah," I said, deciding I liked the man's quirky sense of humor, even if it was a bit odd.

I enjoyed having someone's company and I appreciated his protection. I fell asleep listening to the sound of Caspar's pacing and Nick's image behind my eyes, holding on to the latter like a lifeline.

"_I'm miles from where you are. I lay down on the cold ground and I, I pray that something picks me up and sets me down in your warm arms." _~Snow Patrol


	14. Somewhere I've Never Been

"_We're heading for something, somewhere I've never been." _~Celine Dion

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

"Where are we going?" I asked Caspar as we trekked through the woods, getting farther and farther away from our campsite by the step.

"To look for another big white hole. Anomaly," he corrected himself, holding a branch out of my way.

I looked over at him as he effortlessly pushed through the think foliage under out feet. "You act like you enjoy trekking through the jungle and shooting any dinosaurs that get too close," I said incredulously.

"Actually, I do," he smiled. "Back home they like to refer to me as a 'ninja with an AK47,'" he said happily, giving the gun that was slung over his shoulder an affectionate pat.

"Well back home they refer to me as a 'civil servant turned dinosaur chaser,'" I said, taking a deep breath of clean air as we emerged from the forest into an open field. It felt wonderful after the humid air that filled the forest we had just come from.

"This is where I first found you," he said, motioning to the field surrounding us. I was suddenly gladder than ever that he'd taken me in, had I been left here there's no doubt I would have been dead within the hour.

"Hey, what's it doing that for?" he muttered to himself.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, distracted until he voiced his next sentence.

"The zipper and button on my jeans are…pulling," he said as if he was in want of a better word.

"Like something magnetic is pulling them forward?" I asked, stopping abruptly in my tracks.

"Exactly," he nodded.

I felt a grin spreading across my face. "An anomaly is nearby."

**Nick's P.O.V.**

I stared out at the busy street as if looking hard enough would suddenly open an anomaly. I couldn't get past the fact that my Claudia was stranded, alone, and she may even be….no. I couldn't let myself even _think_ that word. She had to be alive. She just had to be. Thinking of life without Claudia was like thinking of taking a breath and not finding oxygen.

_We'll find her…we are going to find her…_I repeated those words to myself over and over again, trying and failing to stay calm. There was still no sign of an anomaly from where I sat in my car, which was parked in front of a store on Main Street. I held the enhanced compass in my hand like a lifeline, staring at it and hoping beyond hope that the needle would move.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by my mobile ringing, and a tiny spark of hope lit up in me. _Oh please tell me someone's found an anomaly, _I thought desperately as I hit the green button and put the phone to my ear.

"Yes?" I said impatiently.

"No greeting? Well isn't that rude," Lester said sarcastically from the other end.

"Do you need something or are you just calling to annoy me? Because if it's the latter then congratulations, because you're doing a fantastic job," I said, my irritation causing my Scottish accent to become more and more pronounced by the word.

"Fine then. If you're going to be downright impolite about it then I won't tell you that I'm standing in front of an anomaly on 3rd Street," he said.

I hung the phone up before he could get another word out. I cranked the car, pulled out onto the street, and drove like a bat out of hell. I nearly wrecked three times because of my speed and the fact I kept driving on the wrong side of the road. By the time I finally reached the anomaly site, my heartbeat was erratic and I was nearly shaking.

Lester, who was leaning against the rental car he'd come here in, raised an eyebrow at my disheveled appearance but didn't comment. It was a good thing he didn't, because in the frazzled state I was in, I may deck him again. On the other side of that anomaly was Claudia. She was there. I didn't know if she was alright of if she was even alive, but I had no doubt in my mind that she was on the other side of that anomaly.

"I'm going through," I said, grabbing a tranquilizer gun from the large case and ignoring Lester telling me to wait for backup.

"Go fill out some paperwork Lester!" I called over my shoulder.

And with those words lingering behind me, I stepped forward into the anomaly.

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

"The anomaly is getting close," I said as I led Caspar across the field and into a different section of woods than the ones we'd just come from.

"I'll take your word for it," he shrugged.

I'd give him one thing; he never seemed to get tired. Given that we hadn't taken a break since leaving the campsite, we'd been walking for about two hours straight now and he hadn't uttered one word of complaint or even showed any lack of energy. He walked behind me and kept watch for dinosaurs whilst I held my wrist out in front of me and watched carefully to see which way my bracelet was being pulled. It wasn't the most practical way to find an anomaly, but we didn't have a compass, so it was going to have to do.

"Claudia," he said, his voice suddenly dropped to a whisper.

"What?" I asked, dropping my voice as well.

"Don't. Move."

He said the words separately and deliberately, as if they were the two most important things in the world. I did as I was told and stood completely still, not moving a single muscle. I clenched my hands at my sides to keep them from shaking with fear. I heard the _click click _sounds given off by his machine rifle being fired, and I tried not to think too hard about what he might be firing at.

"Alright, it's safe," he said.

I finally exhaled and turned around to see the bodies of two large animals lying not two yards away from my feet. I felt my brow furrow in confusion at the two red circular objects on their heads.

"They were neural clamped," Caspar said, who'd apparently noticed my confusion.

"What exactly does that mean?" I asked.

"It means those red things on their heads means someone is controlling them," he explained as we began walking again.

"Someone's here besides us," I said, and it was more of a statement than a question.

"Apparently. They keep themselves well hid, because I've been here for a year now and haven't seen hide nor hair of any human but me until you came along," he said.

A theory was forming in my head, but I prayed fervently it was wrong. I only knew one person that may know how to control dinosaurs, but I hadn't heard anything of her since she'd hightailed it though yet another anomaly. Helen Cutter was the most viable suspect, as much as I hated the thought of her reentering the equation.

Anomalies were hard enough to deal with without her running around throwing a wrench in things. Not to mention the fact that the creatures Caspar had just shot didn't look like anything Prehistoric. It was difficult to even wrap my mind around, but I had to wonder if there was a possibility that we were dealing with something from the future.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" Caspar asked.

"I just have a bad feeling about who may be behind those creatures," I said, pointing back to where we'd left the bodies.

"Who?"

"Her name is Helen. She's like a velociraptor with a bad haircut," I said distastefully. "She's been going in and out of the anomalies for eight years, learning everything she can about them," I added.

"Sounds like a really fun lady," he said sarcastically.

I sighed and glanced absently off to the side, catching a glimpse of something deep in the woods. It was just a small flash of beige, the same color of khaki clothing, but the form it belonged to looked more human than animal. It had only been a glimpse, but it still looked like a person. I blinked a couple times, and then the form was gone.

"Did you see something?" Caspar asked, having seen my blinking and my look of confusion.

"No. No, It was probably just my eyes playing tricks on me," I murmured absently, trying to ignore the cold prickling sensation on the back of my neck.

It was the same feeling I'd had when I'd left Joseph's flat the other day. I felt as if I was being watched. I looked around and saw no one, yet I still felt a chill creeping down my spine. _You're just being paranoid, _I thought to myself. But even as I told myself that, I had a bone deep feeling that Caspar and I were not alone.

"_Everybody is watching you, everybody is watching me too." _~OneRepublic

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**I promise the next chapter will be more interesting! This is just filling a gap before this whole Claudia-is-stuck-in-the-Prehistoric-era thing comes to a head. Oh, and a couple notes to/about various people:**

**Caspar, like I said, belongs to Squabble. He is an awesome OC that I take absolutely no credit for because she is the genius that invented him :-)**

**And in response to R2R, who left an anonymous review last chapter; Thank you for your advice on making Nick's illness more realistic, I will definitely use some of the facts you gave me next time I mention the cancer. The facts I included in earlier chapters were mostly off of Wikipedia, so my apologies for any errors.**

**And of course thank you so much to everyone that's reviewed! :D**


	15. When You Need A Place To Run To

"_A thousand times I've seen you standing, gravity like lunar landing. You make me want to run till I find you." _~Gavin Rossdale

**Nick's P.O.V.**

I pushed my way through the woods, prepared to tranquilize anything that got in my way. I was here to find Claudia, and I wasn't going to leave until I had her. The humid air was thick and gave the forest a nearly claustrophobic feel to it. Thinking of Claudia stranded here was a positively awful thought. I heard twigs snapping nearby, and I spun around, gun raised and ready to shoot.

A young man stepped forward, wielding a large machine gun, which was held poised to be shot just as mine was. He had dark brown hair and blue eyes, and the scratches marring his face and hands suggested he'd been here awhile. He looked territorial, but not downright ferocious. He at least looked like someone I could reason with.

"Hey, don't shoot. I'm not going to hurt you, I'm just here looking for someone," I said, lowering the tranquilizer gun and holding my empty hands up as a gesture to show him that I wasn't a threat.

He opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly someone ran up beside him. I dropped the gun I held the minute I saw Claudia standing there, and she ran right into my arms. She buried her face in my chest and held tight to me. I kissed the top of her head, stroking her hair. At the moment, the only thought I could muster was that she was safe. I couldn't get any other thought through my head properly at the moment, because that was all that mattered. She was safe. Alive.

"I want to go home," she said, her voice muffled by my shirt.

"I know. I'm going to take you home. It's alright," I whispered.

"I want Caspar to come with us," she said, pulling away briefly to motion to the young man standing a few feet away. "He saved my life, Nick. He's been here for over a year now, and he helped me survive before you showed up," she explained.

"Of course. All three of us are going to go home," I said. "Is there anyone else here?" I added.

She shook her head. "No, just Caspar and I that we know of. If there's anyone else here then we don't know about them," she said.

"Alright then. Let's go home," I said, picking her up and motioning for Caspar to follow us.

He picked up the tranquilizer gun I'd dropped and carried it as we made out way through the woods, back to the anomaly. Claudia protested that she could walk fine on her own, but I ignored her and continued carrying her all the way back to the anomaly. She felt too light in my arms and I knew that she hadn't been eating enough. _I guess there isn't a whole lot to eat when you're stranded in the Prehistoric times, _I thought as the three of us stepped through the anomaly.

"He goes through to drag one idiot home and he comes back with not one but _two_ nitwits. Why does that not surprise me?" Lester said as we reentered the modern world.

"Shut up Lester," Claudia snapped.

"So who's this dimwit?" Lester asked, ignoring her and motioning to Caspar.

"Vlad Caspar," he introduced himself.

"Well Cutter, take Claudia and your little add on here and take them back to the hotel. As soon as this anomaly closes and we make sure there aren't any more creatures, we're going home," he said.

"I'm so glad you came for me," Claudia whispered against my shoulder as I carried her to the car. She'd seemed to have given up on trying to get me to put her down.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," I said, knowing I sounded like a sappy idiot and not caring a bit. The only thing I cared about at all was that she was safe, in my arms, and I was never going to let harm come to her again.

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

"You can go keep an eye on the anomaly with the others, Nick. Caspar said he'd stay here with me," I said as Nick and I stood in the hotel room.

He needed to go keep an eye on the anomaly but was insisting and staying with me. I needed anyone looking after me, but Nick insisted he didn't want me left alone. Caspar had volunteered to stay with me, and it was taking forever to convince Nick to go ahead with the others to the anomaly site. I had missed him terribly while I'd been trapped and didn't really want to let him go so soon, but I refused to be one of those clingy girlfriends with no spine.

"Are you positive?" he repeated.

"Absolutely. Thank you for worrying though," I said, giving him a quick kiss goodbye.

I watched him leave the room with a small smile playing on my lips. If it was possible, being away from him had only made me love him more. Caspar was sitting on the edge of the bed silently, and I took advantage of the peaceful silence to make my tense muscles relax a bit. I was here. Nick would be back soon. That was all that mattered.

"I've got to run to the men's room, I'll be back in a sec," Caspar said, rising to his feet and going into the adjoining bathroom.

Once I was alone, I collapsed tiredly onto the bed. Spending a couple of days stranded in the past was exhausting. After lying there with my eyes closed for a moment, I heard the shower start running in the bathroom. Caspar must have decided to take a shower. Not that I could blame him, he had been stuck in the past for over a year now. I was jolted from my tired musings by the ringing of my mobile.

I pressed the green button and put it to my ear, and I was totally unprepared for the voice on the other end.

"Nick belongs to me, Claudia. You may as well give him up now if you know what's good for you," Helen said with the same calm tone that people used when discussing the weather.

"Leave me alone," I spat.

"Don't flatter yourself, it's Nick that I want. Tell him I said hello, would you?" she said, and then with a malicious laugh, she hung up.

I dropped the phone onto the bed next to me, my shaking hand unable to hold it any longer. _You may as well give him up now if you know what's good for you, _Helen's threat echoed in my mind. A shiver snaked down my spine and left me feeling cold and more shaky than ever. I stared down at the phone, trying and failing to control my trembling.

The door to the hotel room opened, and I leapt to my feet and groped for something to use as a weapon. Was Helen already going to make good on her threat? I stopped searching for something to defend myself with as soon as I realized it was only Nick. I took a deep breath and walked over, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"What's wrong?" he asked, noticing my fear.

"Helen," I whispered. "She called me and said if I knew what was good for me then I would give you up," I said quietly, unable to raise my voice because my throat felt as if it was constricting with fear.

"Hey, it's alright. Everything's going to be okay. I've got you," he said soothingly.

I nodded and closed my fingers around the back of his jacket, holding on to him. I rested my face against his shoulder and felt the tension drain out of me. His mere presence had me calmed down within instants, for I knew he would keep me safe no matter what.

"_And when you need a place to run to, for better or for worse, I got you." _~Leona Lewis

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**I know I got a little carried away with fluff there at the end, you can thank my fluff bunny for that. The next chapter will be a angst overload, so consider yourself warned! Helen is back just to add some drama to the mix, so hopefully these next chapters won't be as boring as these more recent ones have been.**

**Enough of my babbling, thank you so much for reading and reviewing!**


	16. Ashes and Wine

**Author's Note:**

**Warning: angst overload! This chapter is almost straight angst, so be prepared! This chapter is completely inspired by the song "Ashes and Wine" by A Fine Frenzy, so anyone who has heard the song knows that is probably not a good sign. My angst bunny is completely and totally out of control as of right now, sorry!**

**Thank you so much for sticking with me anyways though :D**

* * *

"_And if it has to end, I'm glad you have been my friend, in the time of our lives." _~Tyrone Wells

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

"I'll see you tonight then?" I asked Nick as he walked me to the door of my flat.

We had agreed that we would finally have the date that had been cancelled, and I couldn't be happier. I had long since stopped worrying about Helen's phone call, I was in too good of a mood to worry about anything. Before leaving Asheville, Nick had taken me back to Biltmore to tour the grounds just as he'd promised, and now we were back here in London. I was in an unbelievably good mood and nothing was going to bring me down.

"You most definitely will," he smiled, giving me a lingering kiss before leaving.

Once I was in my flat, I glanced up at the clock on the wall and noticed that it was just after two in the afternoon. I was terribly jetlagged and wanted to take a nap, but I had to get back to work at the Home Office. I got a shower, changed clothes, and went to work as usual. Once I was in my car alone, without Nick there to distract me from my fears, the nervousness about Helen's call came back full force.

I sat at my desk at the Home Office, fiddling with my bracelet. When Lester walked out of his office at one point during the day he glanced at me, seeming to notice my preoccupation, but thankfully didn't comment. I was glad he didn't, because I didn't really feel like arguing with him right now. I had so many worries on my mind I thought my head was going to explode. Nick's cancer. Helen's phone call. The anomalies in general.

* * *

Later, after work, I got home and started rifling through my closet. It was five o'clock in the afternoon now and Nick was due to pick me up for our date in an hour and a half. I stared skeptically into my closet. I pushed through the blouses, skirts and camisoles until I found what I was looking for. A grin spread across my face as I pulled the dress out, and I knew it was exactly what I needed. He'd specified the date was going to be formal, and this dress was nothing if not formal.

It was a dark purple, silk, floor length gown with a tulle overlay and I had the dark purple high heeled shoes to match. The dress was form fitting around the torso and then fell in a perfect, effortless skirt to the ground. And it had a sweetheart neckline and a slit to the thigh to finish it off. I hadn't worn the dress in probably years, but I knew it would still fit.

Sure enough, after slipping into it, I found that it fit as perfectly as ever. I twisted my long hair up into an upsweep on the back of my neck, applied some pale lipstick, a little bit of smoky purple eye-shadow, stepped into the high heels, and I was ready. My pale skin stood out against the dark fabric, but it didn't look too bad. Actually, it made for quite a nice contrast.

The doorbell then rang and I hurried to answer it. When I opened the door and Nick saw me, the desire that filled his eyes as he took me in was plenty enough to make me feel like all the fuss over my appearance had been worth it. By the time his eyes finally came back up my body to meet mine, I was glad that the little bit of foundation I was wearing was probably hiding the worst of my blushing.

"You look…absolutely…" he trailed off in search of a word.

"Thank you," I said, understanding the implication without him even having to continue.

When we arrived at the resturaunt, I was positively entranced. Our table was by a window, and it was lit by candles. I knew before we even sat down that this would be the most amazing date I would ever go on. He pulled out my chair for me and then pushed it in once I was sat down.

After we began talking, we soon realized we had nearly everything in common. Our tastes in books, movies, music, and so much more. Even though I loved him more than life itself, I hadn't realized until tonight that we didn't really know that much about each other. Soon though, we knew _everything_ about each other.

"Excuse me, I'm just going to go the ladies' room for a moment," I said, rising to my feet and locating the women's bathroom.

I touched up my lipstick in front of the mirror and tucked a lock of hair that had fallen out of my upsweep back into place. Tonight was going wonderfully, and these few moments of easy happiness felt fantastic after the stress of the past few days. When I looked up from putting my lipstick back in clutch, though, what I saw in the mirror behind me was anything but expected.

"What do you want?" I whispered.

"You know exactly what I want, Claudia," Helen said.

"In case you haven't noticed, Nick's over you," I said bitterly, trying to mask my fear.

She sighed, grabbed me by my hair, and threw me across the room. Apparently spending eight years living with dinosaurs does wonders for your strength. I cried out as my body collided with the wall and I fell to the floor. She walked over and looked down at me, shaking her head.

"I'm normally not much one for bathroom brawls, but you are such an irritating little creature. Tell Nick I said hello," she said, kicking me viciously in the stomach before turning around and walking out.

I watched her go, clutching my stomach. Those boots she wore packed one hell of a punch. In spite of the pain that made me want to scream with every step, I still pulled myself to my feet and made my way out the bathroom door. My entire body felt as if it was on fire, and it was everything I could do not to cry out.

The minute Nick saw me and the way I was holding onto the wall for support, he got to his feet and rushed to my side. I knew how awful I must have looked, with my hair in a complete mess and my dress torn from when I'd fallen in an awkward tangle to the bathroom floor.

"What happened?" Nick asked.

"Helen," I choked, and he immediately picked me up off the ground, carrying me out of the restaurant.

"Oh my god," he whispered, studying me.

"I'm fine to walk on my own," I said when we got out to the parking lot, and he reluctantly sat me on my feet.

"What did she want?" he asked, brushing my hair from my face.

"You. She wants you, Nick," I said.

"She's using you to get to me," he said as the realization hit him.

When I nodded, he said, "I can't let you be in danger because of this."

"I'll learn to defend myself," I countered.

"Helen is ruthless. She won't stop until you're dead if that's what it takes," he said, raking his hand through his hair.

"We'll get through it," I said, getting confused when he shook his head.

"No. No, I'm not risking you're life. It's safer if, if we…" he trailed off and then it dawned on me what he was saying.

"You want me to stay away from you," I whispered, tears filling my eyes.

"It's to keep you safe," he said, looking just as pained as I felt.

"I don't want to be kept safe, not if it means losing you," I said.

"I'm sorry, Claudia," he said, his eyes hard and telling me he wasn't changing his mind.

Still, I tried to convince him. "Please. Don't do this. We'll get through this, we've made it this far. We can't just give up now," I pleaded.

"There isn't any other way to protect you," he said, his blue eyes pained but firm.

"We fight your cancer, you come to get me when I end up trapped on the other side of an anomaly, and now you're just...leaving? Giving up?" I cried as the tears began started running down my face.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine, but it was undoubtedly a goodbye. There was no reassurance in the kiss, only pain. He pulled away, and I looked up into his eyes.

"Don't go," I begged.

He didn't listen to me. He turned around and he walked away. Walked away from me. Walked away from us, from our love. I stared after him, trying and failing to hold back the tears any longer. I began sobbing so hard it hurt. After all we'd gone through, we'd been torn apart. Helen had torn us apart. She'd gotten exactly what she wanted.

"Nick!" I called after him even though I knew it was pointless. He wasn't coming back.

I watched him disappear until finally I couldn't see him anymore. When I looked down, I saw the key to his car lying at my feet. _Of course. That way I can drive myself home. He'll probably just walk back to his flat, it's not that far from here, _I thought. As the entirety of the pain of it all hit me, I started sobbing even harder.

As I nearly choked on my sobs, I leaned back against the outer wall of the restaurant and slid down it, sitting on the ground. It made my hurt body feel as if it was exploding with pain, but nothing could compare to the pain I felt inside. My heart was so broken that I didn't think it could ever be repaired.

I sobbed so hard I thought I would never stop, and I buried my face in my hands as I cried. I don't know how long I sat there, sobbing as I mourned the loss of the man I loved. _So this is how love ends. A few words and a parting kiss. The most amazing time of your life reduced to one painful goodbye and then the next the thing you know you're all alone, _I thought. Nick had become a part of me, and when he had walked away I'd felt like part of my skin had been ripped off. The pain was unbearable.

"I love you Nick," I whispered even though he was far away and couldn't hear me. "I hope you know that I loved you."

"_Is there a chance, a fragment of light at the end of the tunnel, a reason to fight? Is there a chance you may change your mind? Or are we ashes and wine?" _~A Fine Frenzy


	17. Is It Killing You Like It's Killing Me

**Author's Note:**

**Just a quick note to say thanks to R2R, who helped me make Nick's illness more realistic and believable. The information below is some things she told me about real tumors, so thanks R2R for your help:-) **

_"It's been awhile since I could look at myself straight, and it's been awhile since I said I'm sorry. It's been awhile since I've seen the way the candles light your face. It's been awhile, but I can still remember just the way you taste."_ ~Staind

**Nick's P.O.V.**

I walked into my flat, feeling broken into small, fractional pieces. Helen had finally figured out how to tear my life to pieces. She'd succeeded. There was nothing left to fight for. I'd hurt Claudia, the one person I loved more than anything and had never wanted to bring pain to. I'd promised myself I wouldn't ever allow her to be harmed again, but I had not only broken that promise, but had been the one to harm her. The physical damage Helen had done was bad enough, and then I'd gone and probably broken her heart.

As the fury at Helen and the pain over Claudia finally snapped my temper, I abruptly kicked the wall with all my strength. I am not generally a violent person, but the anger and pain had just been building for far too long now. The image of Claudia's heartbroken, mascara streaked face would forever haunt my memories.

Just when I was about to get a shower and then go to bed, my mobile started ringing. I really didn't feel like answering, so I let it go to voicemail. Then I thought, _What if it's Claudia and she's hurt? _I doubted it was her, but still it was better safe than sorry. I picked up my phone and played the voicemail, surprised when the voice belonged to Joseph. I hadn't expected him to call this late, it was fifteen after nine at night.

"Nick, you really need to call me back, I have excellent news. You and Claudia are going to be thrilled," the voicemail said.

I felt a pang go through me at the _You and Claudia are going to be thrilled _part. For once, though, the doctor's quiet voice sounded quite animated. His voice was still quiet and somewhat husky, but there was a trace of genuine excitement lingering under his ever present calm. I dialed his number and he answered immediately.

"Good, you called me back. I have the most wonderful news!" he exclaimed happily.

"Well what is it, because I didn't call to make small talk," I snapped. I didn't mean to snap at him, but it had been a dreadful night and I wasn't in the mood for chitchat.

"Your cancer isn't actually cancer!"

"Huh?" I said, annoyance quickly becoming replaced by confusion.

"You have a non cancerous tumor that is known to simulate cancer in its symptoms and appearance on X-rays, but it isn't actually cancer," he explained hurriedly, talking so fast he almost tripped over his words.

"You mean all this time…I haven't had cancer?" I asked in a whisper.

"Exactly," he replied, and I could tell from his tone that he was smiling.

"Oh my god," I murmured, almost dropping the phone.

"It's going to have to be surgically removed, and you're going to be in a lot of pain after the surgery, but after you recover from that you're going to be as good as new," he said.

"Isn't that what the surgery I've already had was for?" I asked.

"No, we were just treating the symptoms then. Now instead of treating the symptoms, we can actually treat what's _causing_ them," he said.

"When can I have the surgery?"

"I'm going to call the same surgeon that you saw for your first surgery and see when he can get you in."

"Thank you Joseph," I said, sinking down on the couch. The revelation was nearly overwhelming, and I suddenly felt dizzy in a good way. "So how did you figure out it wasn't a cancerous tumor, anyways?" I added.

"Something about your X-rays seemed a little strange, so after going over them again, I finally realized that something about the tumor was off. Once I ran tests again, and looked for certain things in the results, I saw that it wasn't cancerous," he explained.

"You are a genius," I laughed.

"Just doing my job," he replied, but I could tell he was smiling as well.

After we hung up, I laid my phone down and closed my eyes. One fact stood out prominently in my mind, and it was so amazing I could barely believe it was true. I wasn't going to die.

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

"Thank you for doing this, Stephen. I know you and I don't know each other that well, but I didn't know who else to ask," I said.

"It's fine, I don't mind," he shrugged.

I'd asked him to teach me to fight, because Nick or no Nick, I refused to be defenseless against Helen. She had what she wanted, but there was still no guarantee she was going to leave me alone. I stood across from Stephen, wearing a tank top and track pants with my hair pulled back in a ponytail. I wore no make-up, and there was nothing elaborate done to my hair. It was time I stopped hiding behind Nick and faced reality.

"Alright, first of all, I'll tell you something that most people tend to forget about when fighting. Even if they're down, _never _turn away from your opponent. They can get back up and take you down," he explained.

I nodded and he continued explaining the basics, and finally we were ready for practice. I took the defensive position, and he taught me the basic dodges and how to shield myself without knocking myself off balance from stumbling back or ducking. By the time I'd been shown the basic moves, I was exhausted. He told me I was getting better, but I still had a ways to go.

"I hope no one needed this spare office," I laughed.

We were used an empty office in Whitehall, and we'd pushed all the furniture up against the wall to make room. The office was very spacious, giving us plenty of room to move around. Stephen looked as energetic as ever, but I knew I must have looked rather wrecked. I was already tired, and a strand of hair that had fallen out of my ponytail clung to the side of my face with sweat.

"Na, I'm pretty sure no one uses it anymore," he shrugged.

We returned to sparring, and within another hour, I was actually getting pretty good at it. Stephen said that it was at my advantage that I was slender and lithe, for I could move a lot faster that way. I found that kicks and dodges were my strongest areas, but I needed to build my upper body strength a little to escape the grasp of someone stronger than me. As we engaged in combat, we were so distracted that we didn't notice when someone else walked into the room.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder, and I was so caught up that I instinctively spun around and kicked them hard somewhere that the sun doesn't shine very often.

"What the hell was that for?" Lester demanded, muttering a few curses under his breath.

"I didn't know it was you! I thought it was Stephen," I explained apologectically.

"Not that abusing Stephen isn't an appealing thought, but what did he do to make you so angry?" he asked, combing his disheveled hair back into place with a comb he'd pulled from his pocket.

"No, no that's not it. He's teaching me to fight," I said.

"Well if the pain I'm feeling in a place I am not going to name is any indication, then you're a fast learner," he said with a trace of resentment.

"I would say that I'm sorry, but I'm not really," I said with a sweet smile.

"Such a charming creature you are," he said sarcastically. "And Stephen, you better be glad I'm above hitting a woman or I would knock the hell out of you for teaching her to fight that well," he said, turning his attention to Stephen briefly. "Oh, and why is he teaching you to fight?" he added, glancing over at me again.

"I asked her the same thing and she said it was personal," Stephen said.

"It is personal," I said, abruptly walking out of the room before they had the change to question me further.

I knew that everyone needed to know Helen was back, but for some reason I was reluctant to tell anyone. If I was being completely honest with myself, I knew that it was because I really didn't want to discuss that she was the reason Nick and I weren't together anymore. It was painful enough without everyone else knowing about it.

Thinking about Nick caused the pain to well up again, and try as I might not to let it affect me, a single tear slid down my cheek as I left the Home Office. It was Sunday and I didn't have to work, the only reason I'd been here in the first place was because this was where Stephen had agreed to meet me. I angrily wiped the tear from my face, wishing I knew where Helen was so I could go practice my new physical combat skills on her. Thinking of her only made me think of Nick again, which led to the raw wound in my heart reopening yet again.

I got in my car and closed my eyes, but Nick's image still refused to fade from my mind.

"_Now I'm standing alone in a crowed room, and we're not speaking. And I'm dying to know, is it killing you like it's killing me?" _~Taylor Swift

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**This was pretty much a very angsty filler chapter, but I promise the next one will be more interesting! I just really appreciate everyone sticking around and still reading even though I know this story tends to have its boring moments :-)**

**Thanks so much everyone!**


	18. The Best Part Of Me Was Always You

"_What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you? And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay? I'm falling to pieces, yeah. I'm falling to pieces." _~The Script

**Nick's P.O.V.**

I sat in the small café Claudia and I had once had lunch in, picking at my food. I was glad that the tumor wasn't cancerous, but I wanted more than anything to tell Claudia about it. I knew I couldn't, though, because if Helen found out then all the pain I'd put Claudia through two nights ago would have been pointless. The last thing I ever wanted was to leave her, but as I'd said, it was for her protection. But that didn't make it any easier.

I glanced out the window and saw, of all the people, Claudia walking down the sidewalk. It was a cold day outside and her cheeks were flushed, and she huddled under her trench coat. As always, she looked painfully beautiful. I couldn't help but to stare, just like a small child gazing into a store window at something he wanted desperately but couldn't have. I turned back to my food before I was caught staring at her, but I had no appetite.

It was hard to eat and function normally when all I could do was vividly remember the feel of her lips against mine. I could still feel her skin pressed to mine and the way her hair felt like silk between my fingers. It was nearly impossible to believe that it had only been two days since I'd left her crying in the parking lot of the restaurant; it felt like an eternity.

"First you decide to spend your life chasing dinosaurs, and now you're sitting alone in a café staring like some sort of stalker. You just can't decide what you want to do for a living, can you?"

I looked up to see Lester standing next to the table, one eyebrow raised. I was sorely tempted to deck him again, but I didn't want to make a scene in the middle of a crowded room. I simply glared at him and returned to picking at my food, hoping he would see the clear dismissal and leave me alone.

"Go order some civil servants around," I suggested bitterly.

"What's wrong Cutter, woke up on the wrong side of the padded cell this morning?" he asked sarcastically.

"Shut up before I hit you again, Lester," I replied.

"You know, I am getting quite sick of being abused by my employees. First you deck me, then Claudia slaps me, then she kicks me somewhere I'm not going to discuss, and then you threaten to hit me again. I really should have stayed in management consultancy," he said. "Oh, and any idea why Claudia wants to learn to fight?" he added.

My head snapped up, searching for some sort of sarcasm or flippancy in his expression but only finding confusion. So she'd actually done it, gotten someone to teach her to fight. It was just like her, too. Of course she wouldn't want to be defenseless. Even though I had walked away from her so she could resume living her life normally, she was still afraid.

"From the looks of that expression, her learning to fight has some sort of significance to you?" Lester asked.

"That's an understatement," I mumbled under my breath.

"Well, I would stay and resume this charming little discussion, but since you're obviously not going to answer me about your little pet learning to fight, I have better things to do," he said.

"She is not a pet!" I spat defensively, my protectiveness of Claudia flaring up.

"What's all the fuss about, love?" asked a strikingly pretty blond woman as she walked up and put her hand on Lester's arm.

"This is Cutter, I believe I told you about him?" he replied.

"Yes, but you more frequently refer to him as 'Nutty Professor' or 'Indiana Cutter,'" she said.

"Who's this?" I asked Lester, motioning to the pretty blond.

"Cutter, meet my wife Anna. Anna, meet the walking poster child for people that belong in insane asylums under government supervision," he introduced us with his typical air of sarcasm.

"Pleasure to meet you," she said, extending her hand, which I shook firmly.

"Pleasure's all mine," I responded politely.

Something about the woman seemed familiar, and I then realized it was a nurse from the office where I'd gotten my surgery. She was the same woman that had pointed me in the direction of Dr Mace's office. I couldn't believe a woman that attractive would possibly marry someone like James Lester.

He must have noticed me staring between him and his wife confusedly, because he gave me a small smirk that clearly said _Eat your heart out, Cutter. _I sighed, not because I was jealous but because the easy familiarity between them and the almost instinctive way he reached out and laced their fingers together reminded me of Claudia and I and the way things were between us, or at least the way things _had_ been between us. I had to remind myself that there was no longer anything present tense about us.

"While this little meeting has been terribly good fun, I have better things to do," Lester said, turning to walk away.

"It was nice to meet you Mister Cutter," Anna said over her shoulder as Lester pulled her along next to him. I would have corrected her and told her to call me Nick, but they quickly disappeared.

I leaned back in my chair, trying to control my helpless longing for Claudia Brown.

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

I was walking back to my flat, lost in thought, when I heard someone call my name. I turned around to see Joseph walking up, and had to fight back a sigh of exasperation. I wasn't really in the mood to converse with the strange doctor, but I held my tongue just in case something he said had to do with Nick.

"Have you heard the good news?" Joseph asked.

"What good news?"

"Nick hasn't told you?" he replied, looking surprised.

"Told me what?" I asked impatiently.

"His tumor isn't cancerous like we thought it was! He's going to have surgery and once the pain from that wears off, he's good as new," he said happily.

Anger began welling up inside me. "No, actually he didn't say _anything_ about that."

"Hm. How odd," he said, tilting his head like a bird.

"Well thank you for telling me. At least someone felt the need to," I said angrily before turning on my heel and walking away.

How could Nick know that and not tell me? He knew I was worried sick about him, and he kept it to himself! The hurt inside me quickly turned to anger. Between the hurt over Nick walking away, the anger at Helen, and the physical exhaustion from learning to fight, it didn't take much to anger me. I took a deep breath to calm myself down, but it did nothing to soothe my nerves.

Soon, I found myself standing on Nick's doorstep, heedless of his warning to stay away.

"You could have told me the tumor wasn't cancerous," I spat the minute he opened the door.

"I was getting around to it," he replied flatly.

"Oh yeah, when did you intend on telling me?" I demanded, walking by him into the house without invitation.

"Look, I'm not sure but I was going to," he said evasively, not seeming surprised by my outburst.

"Of course you were, Nick," I said sarcastically.

I hated the fact we were arguing after we had once been so comfortable around each other, but all the pain inside me was causing me to lash out, and I was so confused about my own emotions I couldn't even figure out if I was justified in yelling at him the way I was. I was pretty sure I was, but I was so emotionally tangled up I couldn't be sure.

"I was going to tell you, Claudia!" he replied exasperatedly.

"You actually expect me to believe that?" I yelled back.

It felt strange fighting with him after all the happiness we'd had between us, but things were different now. The mere fact we were fighting at all was plenty indication that Helen had successfully come between us.

When Nick only looked down at his shoes to avoid my gaze, I said, "Fine. Do whatever the hell you want, Cutter."

And with that, I stormed out of his house and slammed the door behind me. I hadn't even realized I was back to calling him by his surname until I was back in my car, but the easy familiarity between us felt broken now. I furiously banged my hands into the steering wheel, trying not to start crying again. I felt like a complete idiot for going from angry to hurt in the space of five minutes, but I was on an emotional rollercoaster. _I can yell, I can scream, I could walk back in there and call him every name in the book if I wanted to, but why can't I stop loving him? _I thought. Even as I thought that, I knew the answer.

When you love someone, you can't just turn that love off like a switch. It's always there, in the back of your mind, controlling you. I stared down at my hands, which I felt sure would be bruised tomorrow from my pounding the steering wheel. I finally let the one thought cross my mind that I had been trying to avoid but knew I would have to face eventually.

Was there really no hope for Nick and me?

"_Now I'm trying to make sense of what little remains, oh. 'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name." _~The Script

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**My angst bunny is still out of control, as you probably noticed when reading the chapter. **

**Speaking of this chapter, it is dedicated to rattychipmunk, because she wrote the amazing fan fiction "The ARC: Chat Room Conversations." And Katy-alice Cullen is (very badly, mind you!) trying to copy Ratty's brilliant story. If you think Katy should grow up, get a life, and write her own story then copy and paste "rattychipmunk fans unite against Katy-alice Cullen" to your profile. Because Ratty is an amazing author and it is terrible that someone has created a poor, unoriginal knockoff of her story!**

**Okay, I'm done ranting now:-)**** Thanks very much for reading, reviewing, and supporting Ratty!**


	19. Stand Through The Pain

_"So stand in the rain, stand your ground. Stand up when it's all crashing down. You stand through the pain, you won't drown. And one day what's lost can be found. You stand in the rain." _~Superchick

**Nick's P.O.V.**

"So let me get this straight. Helen is your ex wife, who for the past eight years has been exploring the anomalies while you thought she was dead, she came back once and then she disappeared again, and now she's back yet _again_ to get you back and to destroy yours and Claudia's relationship," Joseph clarified the following afternoon as we walked down the sidewalk. A faint mist of rain fell, but thankfully it wasn't coming down too hard.

"Exactly," I sighed.

I'd been out walking when I'd seen him sitting on the front steps of the complex he lived in, we'd started walking, and I'd ended up explaining everything to him. I had intended on telling it all to Stephen, but for some reason telling him Helen was back seemed like a bad idea. I didn't know why, but it just did. The good thing about Joseph was he was so quiet all the time and he made an excellent listener. Rather that was because he was actually interested in what I was saying or if he just wasn't much of a talker, I didn't know.

"Nick, may I say something quite direct?" he asked, absently fiddling with his glasses, which he held in his hands.

"Go ahead."

"Your life is profoundly jacked up."

I laughed slightly. "I couldn't have said it better myself."

"What are you going to do about Claudia?"

"I can't do anything until Helen's out of the picture. She'll probably get bored and go through another anomaly anytime now, and then hopefully I can set things right with Claudia. I think she's quite cross with me, though," I added worriedly. I'd seen the anger in her eyes when we'd fought last night and I knew I wouldn't easily be forgiven.

"Well, I have something that I think will make you feel better," he said with a smile.

"Uh oh. What did you do?" I asked cautiously.

"I know that Claudia and you are on the outs, but your tumor isn't cancerous. Don't you think that deserves celebration?" he asked.

"Nope."

He shook his head. "You are so cynical."

"Yep."

"Well I've already talked to Stephen, Connor, Abby, and Lester, and they agreed to go our celebrating with us."

"You're telling me the pen pushing government hatchet man agreed to a party?" I asked incredulously.

"If you're talking about Lester, then yes."

"How did you manage that?" I laughed.

"I followed him around the Home Office for four and a half hours asking him if he would go out with us about every..." he trailed off, thinking. "Every five minutes, I think it was" he replied with a triumphant smile.

"You have more will power than I. I can barely stand to be in the Home Office for ten minutes, let alone four hours."

"I'll see you tonight then. I've already programmed the address to the place into your phone," he said, holding out my mobile.

"How did you…?" I patted my pockets confusedly, wondering when and how he'd taken my phone without me noticing.

He just shrugged and laughed before turning and walking away. I stared after him, shaking my head. He never ceased to confuse me.

**Joseph's P.O.V.**

I walked down the sidewalk, so distracted by my thoughts that I didn't even notice the woman I accidentally ran into until we both stumbled back from the impact. She had tangled light brown hair and brown eyes, and her outfit was quite strange for the middle of London. She wore khakis and a slightly torn shirt that looked more suitable for hiking than taking a walk.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you," I said apologetically.

"It's fine. I don't suppose you could help me with something?" she asked.

"Sure," I nodded. She was dressed strange, but she seemed nice.

Then the sweet and open expression was replaced by something completely different, she now looked cold and predatory. She tilted her head and gave me a wicked smile that chilled me to the bone. I turned to leave simply because her expression was terribly unnerving, but then I felt a prick in the back of my neck. Suddenly I was dizzy, and my eyesight was fuzzy. And then I collapsed, unconscious, to the ground.

**Nick's P.O.V.**

"That doctor's going to be the death of me," I said exasperatedly as Stephen and I got ready for the party Joseph had planned.

"So Nick, I need some advice," Stephen admitted somewhat awkwardly, obviously lost in his own thoughts. I raised an eyebrow, simply because he wasn't really the advice type.

"Shoot," I said.

"What would you do if you liked someone but you're pretty sure they like someone else?" he asked.

I pursed my lips, considering. "I think I would pursue it, because as long as they're not actually dating the someone you think they may be interested in, then I think you've got a pretty fair shot," I said. "So, who is it that you fancy?"

"Um…" he trailed off uncomfortably.

"Go ahead and say it, Stephen. This is me you're talking to," I said.

"It's Abby," he blurted out.

"Well that's nothing to be ashamed of, she's a very beautiful and intelligent young woman."

"That seems to fancy Connor," he said resentfully.

"To be honest, I'm not sure she even likes him that way. He's her best friend, but I have no idea if she cares for him romantically," I said.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I should ask her out," he said, and then seem to become buried in his thoughts again, because he remained silent as we finished getting ready.

* * *

When we arrived at the nightclub, I couldn't repress a small pang at the memories it brought on. It was the same club that I had once come to with Claudia to celebrate my reinstatement with the Anomaly Operation. I could remember the feel of her lips against mine as if it was yesterday. As we walked in and I saw her, I was nearly overwhelmed with longing. Joseph hadn't mentioned that she would be here.

"So, where's the doctor?" Stephen asked, looking around.

I furrowed my brow in confusion. "That is an excellent question."

"You'd think he'd show up to his own party," he laughed, shaking his head.

"Yeah, you would think so," I murmured, knowing that this wasn't like him. Had something come up, he would have called.

Stephen disappeared onto the dance floor with some random girl, so I proceeded through the crowd looking for Joseph. I still didn't see him. Ten minutes of searching later, I knew he wasn't here. I called his mobile and only got his voicemail. I went over and sat down next to Connor, who was glaring in the general direction of the dance floor. I didn't understand his glare until I looked over and saw Abby dancing with Stephen.

"Have you heard from Joseph lately?" I asked.

"No," he said absently, still watching Abby with longing..

Sighing, I rose to my feet, pushed through the crowd, and walked outside. I paced restlessly, worry building up. This wasn't like Joseph at all. I briefly considered Helen being behind it, but that wouldn't make any sense. The doctor had nothing to do with her, he was just an innocent person that had ended up involved with all this.

I heard shifting behind me, and I spun around to see Helen walking forwards. _Speak of the devil, _I thought wryly. She had one of her trademark wicked smiles, and I knew then and there what that little smirk meant. It spoke volumes without her having to utter a single word. It was triumphant and knowing, and it said that I was right to think she had something to do with Joseph's disappearance.

"What do you want with him?" I asked, not bothering with greetings.

"Oh, you're little friend in the lab coat? Don't worry, he's still alive if that's what you're worried about. I just need someone to help me with a project of mine and my research told me he was quite intellectual. Believe it or not it's just a coincidence that he is a friend of yours," she shrugged.

"Leave him out of this. Joseph never asked to be involved with all of this," I argued.

"I'd stay and chat, but I am going to go see if my new assistant is awake yet," she said.

"Why did you even come here in the first place?" I asked, trying to resist banging my head into the brick wall next to me.

Still smiling, she stepped forwards. "I came here to warn you. Things are going to change, Nick."

"You mean that you came here to give me some melodramatic speech?"

"There's nothing melodramatic about it. Actually, I would keep an eye on the people around you. You never know when things could change," she said, turning away and disappearing.

I stared after her, a cold chill creeping down the back of my neck and proceeding down my spine. There had been no teasing or joking in her tone. I knew from the unfortunate years I had been married to her that she was completely serious. I'd given up Claudia to protect her, and everyone I cared about was _still_ in danger, regardless of my actions. But it was all too calm. In spite of the loud sounds coming from the street, everything felt like the eerie calm before the storm. If the malicious glint in Helen's eye was any indication, there were two people that were in the most danger.

Claudia and Joseph.

"_Now I'm so confused. I don't know what to do." _~T.A.T.U

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Allow me to start by saying I am so sorry it has taken so long for me to update! My muse didn't want to cooperate with me for this chapter and it took a lot longer than intended. I am also working on ideas for new fan fictions. I have a poll up on my profile for my next story and descriptions of them on my profile as well. Please vote?**

**And also, if you read The ARC: Chat Room Conversations by rattychipmunk, then put "rattychipmunk fans unite against Katy-alice Cullen" on your profile if you haven't already. Yes, I have every intentions of adding that into my author's notes until I have the word spread properly:D**

**Thank you so very much to all of my readers and reviewers!**


	20. Got To See This Through

"_Got to get to you, got to see this through." _~Athlete

**Nick's P.O.V.**

"I have the trace," Connor said.

After the encounter with Helen, I had went back inside to find Connor, Stephen, Abby and Claudia. The five of us now sat in Connor's flat clustered around his elaborate computer setup as he traced Joseph's mobile. It led to an abandoned warehouse downtown, and with any luck, that was where we would find him. _But knowing Helen it's not going to be that easy, _I thought.

"Let's go," Stephen nodded.

"Should I get tranquilizers in case we need to go through an anomaly after them?" Abby asked.

"You're not coming with us," Stephen said.

She scoffed, crossed her arms, and glared at him challengingly. "I have every intention of coming. And what do you care if I come or not?"

He walked over and placed his hands on her shoulders. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

Her gaze softened slightly. "I'll be fine, Stephen."

"I know. I'm not going to let anything happen to you," he said, briefly squeezing her shoulder before turning away. She stared after him for a moment before following us out.

"And I'm coming as well," Claudia stated.

"Claudia," I began.

"Don't 'Claudia' me. I'm coming," she said, flipping her long hair over her shoulder and getting in the car. There was obviously no point in arguing with her.

When we got to the warehouse, it was empty save for a black cell phone lying in the corner. Sighing, I picked it up and flipped it open. I'd had a bad feeling it wasn't going to be easy and I'd been right. I was about to slide the phone into my pocket and tell everyone we were back to square one when I saw something on the surface of the phone. It looked like it had been carved in with something sharp and narrow, like an engraver's knife. _Or maybe a scalpel, _I thought, remembering how Joseph always wore his lab coat. He kept a couple of random medical tools along with his glasses tucked into the pockets.

"Connor, get over here," I said.

"Yes Professor?" he asked, walking over.

"What do you make of these numbers?" I asked, handing the phone over.

"Hmm. Nine digits, separated by dashes every three numbers. Looks like some sort of a tracking code," he said, brooding.

"What kind of tracking code?" Stephen asked as he and Abby walked over.

"These are commonly found on microchips," he replied.

"You think Joseph left this number here for us to find for a reason?" Claudia asked, and I jumped slightly when I heard her voice coming from right behind me. I hadn't even realized she'd walked up.

I nodded. "Connor, see if you can figure out what this is to," I said.

"I'll need to get back home to my computer."

"That's fine, let's go," I said.

**Joseph's P.O.V.**

"What are you doing?" I asked calmly as the woman hooked my arm up to an IV.

"Cloning you," she replied with an equal calm.

"Ah," I nodded, considering struggling against my restraints but knowing it was futile. I had woken up tied down to a chair, and now she was putting a needle in my arm.

"So what's your name, anyways?" I asked.

"Helen Cutter."

I sighed and leaned my head back against the chair. "Well it would figure."

"What would figure?"

"Nick told me about you."

"And what did he say?" she asked, trying to sound bored but her interest in the topic was betrayed by how quickly she'd spoken.

"That you were an evil bitch, pretty much."

She smiled. "How sweet of him. He really knows the way to a woman's heart."

"Alright, so why are you cloning me, exactly?" I asked.

"Because I need someone with your intellect to help me with a little project of mine. And having a few spares of someone as smart as you are wouldn't hurt," she shrugged.

"Aww, I'm touched. I've never been complimented by a sociopath before," I said sarcastically.

"There's a first time for everything, Doctor Noir."

When she walked away into another room, I glanced down at my wristwatch. It was a fairly simple watch, there was really nothing special about it. I could only hope that Nick had found my cell phone and the numbers I had carved into it's surface. Once, when I had been stuffed in the back of Helen's car, I had woken up. And unsurprisingly, I hadn't had a signal. So I'd engraved the code to the tiny microchip hidden in the inner workings of my watch into it's front.

Now I just had to hope they would find me.

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

I crept along with Nick as we slowly approached the old house. Connor had tracked the numbers on Joseph phone and they'd led us here, and given that it had taken us an hour and a half to drive here, we were hoping it wasn't too late to help him. Briefly forgetting about how angry I had been with him, I gently squeezed Nick's shoulder as we walked. I could tell how worried he was for his friend.

The front door was locked, but Stephen quickly remedied that with the large machine rifle he'd brought along. He cleanly blew the lock to pieces and then pushed the door open. I didn't think it was smart to make that much noise, but we were in a hurry and there was no time to try and pick the lock. Taking a deep breath, I followed the rest of the team inside. There was no one in the entryway, but I heard noise coming from upstairs. Screams.

In the blink of an eye practically, Nick was racing up the stairs with us at his heels. I stumbled once or twice but clutched the railing for support, fervently hoping it wouldn't give out under my weight. By the time we ran into the room where we'd heard the screams, they were even louder.

"Hello Nick," said a quiet, familiar voice from behind us.

"Joseph, thank god you're alright," Nick said, spinning around.

He stopped dead when he realized the doctor was holding a small but deadly handgun, which was currently pointed at Nick. I felt my heart rate pick up and I was nearly on the brink of panic. What on earth had gotten into Joseph? He had always been strange, but he really had seemed to like Nick.

"Joseph, what are you doing?" he asked.

"Following orders," he replied with a wicked smile I had seen on only one other person. It reminded me vividly of Helen.

"Isn't he obedient?" Helen said from behind Joseph as if she'd been summoned by my thoughts of her.

"What have you done to him?" Stephen asked as Helen walked over and stood next to the doctor.

"Oh, this isn't Joseph, if that's what you mean," she said, motioning to him.

"Helen what the hell are you talking about?" Abby asked.

"All of you really shouldn't have come. I hate to have to do this, but I can't have you interfering, now can I?" she asked, and then let out a malicious laugh.

Suddenly Joseph was stepping forward, and then…another Joseph stepped forward. And another, and another. There were at least ten of them. I could barely believe my eyes. How was it possible? I had long since accepted the reality of the anomalies, but clones?

"Kill them. Kill all of them," Helen instructed the clones.

They began producing small but lethal handguns, and I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt we were outnumbered. Nick pulled me behind him and Connor and Stephen both stood protectively in front of Abby. I had to refrain from letting out a small whimper of fear as they came closer. The first clone we'd seen pressed the end of the gun he held to Nick's head, and I began shaking my head in denial.

This couldn't be happening. Not after everything we'd gone through, after all we'd lived through. I tried to shove myself in front of Nick, but I couldn't make him budge. I closed my eyes and felt tears began streaming down my face. Wishing I could hide behind closed eyelids but knowing I couldn't, I opened my eyes and braced myself for the horrific sound of a gun firing.

The Joseph clone's finger began to close around the trigger, but a hand knocked the gun from his hand and sent it clattering to the ground. My head snapped up to see, of all the people, Vlad Caspar knocking the clone unconscious by hitting him in the head with his AK47. I heard the click of an automatic rifle and spun around, expecting to see one of my teammates dead of a bullet wound. Instead, I saw one of the other clones lying on the ground, very obviously dead from a bullet wound in the forehead.

"I knew all those archery lessons I took as a kid would pay off someday. Good thing firing a gun isn't too different from using a bow and arrow," Joseph said happily, lowering the large rifle he was holding. It was undoubtedly him and not a clone, because his clothing was bloody and torn and his hair was a complete mess. He looked a mixture of exhausted, in pain, and shaky.

"Huh. Who knew Joseph could use a gun," Stephen said offhandedly, pushing Abby down and shooting a clone that had been coming too close to her. At this point, most of the clones were dead save for a few stragglers.

"Quite well from the looks of it," Nick laughed.

Helen was hurriedly trying to get the remains of her clones back on their murder mission, but so many of them were dead that she was now outnumbered. She tried ordering the three remaining ones to kill, but there was no use. Everything had been thrown into chaos, and it was obvious that there was no hope of fixing it.

"Note to self: Getting talked into coming with all you idiots on this little rescue mission is a great way to get my suit dirty," complained a familiar voice.

I looked over incredulously to see Lester clicking the safety off of a large machine rifle similar to Caspar and Joseph's. He looked positively bored in spite of the fact he was standing in the middle of a, for lack of a better word, war zone. Briefly sitting the rifle down, he pulled a comb from his pocket and combed his hair into place before picking the gun back up.

"Where'd Helen go?" Connor inquired.

Nick sighed and looked around. "She disappeared as usual. I think what was left of her little clone army went with her," he said.

Heedless of the people surrounding us and of the fact we weren't even technically together, I collapsed into his arms. He circled me in a tight embrace, and I felt him gently press his lips to the top of my head. At the moment, none of us cared about anything but the fact we were alive. I was too tired to ask how Caspar and Lester had found us, but I would get around to asking them later. I clung to the back of Nick's shirt for dear life like I would never let go.

I closed my eyes and listened the sound of his heart beating underneath my ear. For a moment it was utterly silent, and his heartbeat was all I heard.

"_As I breathe you in, I can feel your heart beat through my shirt. This was all I wanted, all I want." _~Snow Patrol

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Hello everyone. Sorry for all the confusion and drama up there, but my muse bunny is trying to hop away again. I think I'll make this fic 25 chapters long and then end it. I have had so much fun writing this and I would like to thank everyone for their support. I have a couple of quick notes to add.**

**To drodgers89; thank you for being awesome and reviewing every single thing I write! **

**To Squabble; thanks again for letting me borrow Caspar, he definitely came in handy with this chapter.**

**To CakeyxClickx; thank you very much for your awesome reviews each chapter! You rock :-)**

**To everyone else; do not forget to cope and paste "rattychipmunk fans unite against Katy-alice Cullen" to your profile!**

**And of course, thank you so much to everyone that has read and reviewed!**


	21. The Way That You Make Me Feel

"_When I look into your eyes, every time you smile at me, oh I go weak inside. Baby I just can't hide my love." _~Steps

**Nick's P.O.V.**

"Do you think he's going to be okay?" Claudia asked.

"Joseph went through hell, but he hasn't shown any signs of trauma," I said.

We were in my house, sitting on the couch. Dinner would be ready soon and everyone would probably be here shortly. I'd invited everyone over for dinner as a sort of celebration that everyone has made it through the Helen incident alive. Claudia had shown up early to help me with dinner and setting the table and whatnot.

I absently stroked the side of her face, not even realizing I'd reached out until I felt her warm skin under my fingers. I leaned close to her, so close I could fell her breath tickling my face. I wanted desperately to kiss her, and the warmth of her sparkling brown eyes told me that she wouldn't object. I had missed her terribly in the days we had been separated, and now that Helen had disappeared again, I figured it was safe enough to let everything go back to normal.

There was no guarantee Helen was staying gone, but I had a good feeling we wouldn't be seeing her again for awhile. Then all thoughts of my ex wife vanished from my mind as I felt soft, smooth lips press against mine. A feeling of love and security ran through me as I gently pressed my lips back against Claudia's. She tasted sweet and wonderful and more than I would ever deserve.

She reached up to wrap her arms around my neck, and as if their timing couldn't get any worse, someone run the doorbell. I sighed and reluctantly pulled away from her. When I opened the door, I saw Connor and Abby standing there, and they were followed closely by Stephen. I stepped back to let them in, and didn't even have the door shut when Caspar pulled up.

Finally, everyone got there and we sat down at the table. It was slightly crowded given how many people were clustered around the table, but I didn't really mind. I had to admit we made an odd looking group, though. Myself, Lester, Claudia, Abby, Connor, Stephen, Caspar and Joseph all sat around my kitchen table. It was crowded but oddly comfortable. All of them - even the vain, pen pushing civil servant- had become like family to me.

"Uh oh, I think war is about to break out," Abby said.

"Why is that?" I asked, looking up from my food.

"Connor just threw food at Stephen."

"Well Connor, it was nice knowing you," I said, doubting he would survive the next five minutes.

"Oh, this is war," Stephen growled, throwing his water in Connor's face.

I grinned, watching as a food fight broke out. Lester started backing up, trying fervently to avoid the various edible particles flying around the room. I couldn't hold back a laugh as Abby dropped an ice cube down the back of Caspar's shirt, and Joseph just crawled under the table to hide. When Stephen got too close to him with a piece of the cake I'd bought for dessert, Joseph knocked him upside the back of the head with a cutting board.

"Lester," I said, and he turned around expectantly.

I smiled and promptly shoved a piece of cake squarely into his face.

"Fancy some dessert?" I asked.

If looks could kill, then the team would have to plan my funeral. I took off into the living room, fearful of what he would retaliate with. I figured I was safe until someone through a bowl of soup in my face. I blinked, rubbing broth out of my eyes. When I opened them, I saw a grinning Claudia holding an empty bowl.

"Claudia Brown, you are _dead_," I laughed, chasing her back into the kitchen.

* * *

I wasn't completely sure when everything finally settled down, but eventually everyone cleared out save for Claudia and me. I'd told her she could take a shower here. She still had some of her clothes in the dresser she could change into, so the issue of her currently food and beverage covered clothing wouldn't be a problem.

When she pulled some clothes from the dresser and disappeared into the bathroom, I pulled on some clean clothes and decided I would get a shower after the water heated back up. I sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled my wallet off of my nightstand, flipping it open to reveal the photograph of Claudia and I.

I closed my eyes, wondering if things with her could ever be mended. I missed what we'd had. Not to mention I'd had terribly nightmares lately. It had been the same nightmare over and over, repeatedly torturing my subconscious. I went through an anomaly to the Permian and returned, but when I came back Claudia wasn't there. No one knew who she was, and I had returned to a world where Claudia Brown had never existed.

"Nick, are you alright?"

I glanced up to see her standing in front of me. I hadn't even realized she was standing there until she spoke. She looked almost heartbreakingly beautiful, with her hair damp and cheeks ruddy and flushed. She always looked amazing, but when her gorgeous face wasn't masked by makeup, she was that much more perfect.

"Yeah. I'm fine," I nodded, closing my wallet and tossing it back onto the nightstand.

"Something's on your mind," she said, sitting down next to me.

I looked over and just then realized she had nothing but a dark blue towel wrapped around herself, one hand holding it closed and the other resting on my arm. The towel covered her from her chest down to just above her knees, leaving her long legs exposed. I couldn't help but blush slightly at her lack of clothing. It reminded me all too vividly of what had been interrupted at Biltmore.

"Nick, talk to me. You know you can tell me anything," she said, moving her hand from my arm and using it to turn my head, forcing me to face her.

"I know. It's just that…" I trailed off, searching for words. I finally decided just to be direct. "I miss you. And I know you're thinking that I must have some nerve, putting you through what I did and then saying this to you, but I've been going nuts without you. I completely understand if you just want to tell me to shut up and leave you alone, but there's something I need to tell you. I know I should have said this a long time ago, but I'm saying it now," I continued. "I…I love you, Claudia."

She smiled and caressed the side of my face with her fingertips. I had expected her eyes to be closed off and guarded, but I instead saw a surprising amount of love and openness.

"I love you too," she whispered, leaning forward and catching my lips with hers.

I didn't hesitate to kiss her back. My arms wrapped around her and her lips parted against mine, our breath mingling together. The kiss began deepening, as if it was silently communicating every feeling we'd ever held back. She leaned into me, every curvature of her body pressing to mine through the thin fabric of the towel she still held around her. I ran my hand lightly down her back, and she leaned even closer.

I was so distraught I barely knew which way was up, but I slowly drifted back to a partial state of reality as she pulled away long enough to tug my shirt over my head and toss it aside. She reached down with both hands and began unfastening my belt, and the towel that had been wrapped around her fell away, leaving every inch of her bare skin exposed to me. I tossed the towel aside, roughly in the same direction she'd tossed my shirt.

In one swift movement, I pushed her down on the bed, coming down on top of her. She quickly removed the remainders of my clothing, and my lips again sought hers. I began exploring every inch of her pale, flawless skin with my mouth, eliciting soft sighs and moans of pleasure from her. I knew then that nothing could ever separate us again, the feeling of need and completion as I again pressed my lips to hers confirmed it with an undoubting solidity.

Then I let my thoughts be replaced with the sweet sensations as the hours turned to a world of undiluted passion, a place where time meant absolutely nothing.

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

I was woken up by the bright sunlight streaming through the window. A slight soreness lingered in my muscles, but my body felt oddly ungrounded. I was still wrapped up in thoughts of pure love and ecstasy, two words that had come to mind several times last night. Well, they'd come to mind when I could even form a coherent mental sentence. I opened my eyes, finding my head resting on Nick's shoulder and my hair splayed out in all odd directions.

His eyes were closed, his breathing was deep and even, and he was obviously still asleep. I gently ran my hand down his bare chest, smiling slightly. Last night had been more than perfect, more than I ever could have dreamed of. I had never pictured myself feeling so completely comfortable and trusting around someone as I was Nick, but I couldn't imagine life any other way. I wanted my life to be exactly as it was right now, right here, and I never wanted it to change.

"_It's the way you make feel, the way that you make me feel. Spinning my world around. Tell me how can I walk away? I don't care what they say, I'm loving you anyway. It's the way you make me feel." _~Steps

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Please don't kill me! I know it's been forever since I updated, and I am really really sorry! I have been vidding and doing all sorts of school stuff. I'm also in the process of starting a MultiMale collab, so if anyone has any good song suggestions please tell me :-)**

**This chapter was inspired mostly by "The Way You Make Me Feel" by Steps, which is what I used for the quotes at the start and end of the chapter. I actually found it when I was looking for Doctor Who clips for a video I made as a Christmas present for a friend on YouTube. I don't actually watch the show and I think David Tennant is a little on the goofy side. That is no offense to people that watch the show, I just can't really get used to how hyper the Tenth Doctor is. **

**The only thing Doctor Who I've found so far that I like is a picture I found of David Tennant holding the most adorable little kitten. Oh and if anyone has a Christmas wish list they would like to send me I will be happy to make something! Wallpapers, videos, icons, etc. I make videos for shows I don't watch, so as long as I can find clips I'll vid just about anything.**

**I didn't realize how long I'd been rambling until I looked up and saw how long my A/N had gotten. Sorry about that, I think I've been staring at the computer screen too long and have given myself a headache. Okay, I really am done babbling now.**

**Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!**


	22. People We Can't Live Without

**Author's Note:**

**To avoid confusion, let me go ahead and say that this is pretty much my take on how the season 2 storyline would have developed had Claudia never disappeared. The ARC, mostly. A little bit of angst and OOCness at the end, sorry about that! Oh and this chapter is dedicated to drodgers89, who is being awesome enough to write me a Lester and Jenny fanfiction! It's called "Far Away," and you should definitely go check it out along with all of her other fics!**

**And thank you so much to everyone for reading and reviewing!**

* * *

_"Everything's changing, when I turn around. All out of my control." _~Avril Lavigne

**Nick's P.O.V.**

"Morning," I greeted Lester as I walked into his office. He'd said he had a couple things he needed to go over with Claudia and I.

He raised an eyebrow. "You're in an awful good mood this morning." It was true, I usually didn't even bother with saying "morning."

"I had a nice time last night," I shrugged.

"I take it you're not talking about the food fight?"

"Actually, it's about Claudia…" I trailed off.

"What about her?" he asked absently, walking over to the fax machine and pulling something out of it.

"Well, we, um…" I trailed off yet again, trying to figure out a way to put it tactfully.

"Slept together," Claudia said as she walked in and handed him a file. So much for tact.

"That's not very professional," he commented, sitting back down at his desk with the papers the fax machine had spat out at him.

"Stuff professionalism," she replied.

He merely rolled his eyes before returning to his attention the papers in front of him. He flipped through them, looking at each page and then laying it aside. He muttered something under his breath as he worked, but it was too softly spoken for me to catch. I wandered over behind his desk and peered over his shoulder and the papers, and he glanced up at me irritably.

"Cutter, has the concept of personal space ever been explained to you?" he asked.

"What's got you so interested?" I asked, ignoring his question and motioning to the papers.

"The minister thinks we need to expand the Anomaly Operation. He thinks the situation is getting worse and that we need somewhere we can conduct proper research," he explained.

"Well what does he suggest, that we start ourselves a tree house club?" I asked sarcastically.

"No, he just wants to divide us from the Home Office," he said, scribbling his signature onto the bottom of a page.

"Meaning what exactly?" Claudia prompted.

"He wants to set us up our own facility, fully equipped with staff and someone to keep all you idiots in line," he said.

"You won't be coming with us?" I asked.

"Of course I'm not. I am perfectly content with my position here," he said flatly.

I just nodded and wondered absently who would replace him. When I'd first met Lester, I hadn't been able to stand him, but as long as we'd worked together he'd somewhat grown on me. It would be strange not having him around, not having to deal with his sarcastic commentary on a daily basis. Not to mention I had no idea what other straitlaced bureaucrat would believe that we actually dealt with dinosaurs. Lester was a bit of a special case.

"When are we moving to this new facility?" Claudia asked.

"As soon as possible. He has a team getting it set up with everything you'll need. By the end of the week you'll be at the Anomaly Research Centre. The ARC, though I think it sounds like something out of the old testament. Look on the bright side Cutter, it will be easier for you to play God if you're working at the ARC," he said with his usual irritating flippancy. I sighed and shook my head. Maybe him not coming with us wasn't as bad as I thought.

"I'll call everyone else and see who all wants to come with us to the ARC," Claudia said.

"They'll come. I don't have a single doubt about it," I said, stopping her before she even wasted her time. I knew the team as well as I knew myself, and they would stay. I just knew it.

"Is that all you needed Lester?" I asked, returning my attention to him briefly.

When he nodded curtly, we left his office. Claudia called and told the rest of the team about the ARC as we walked outside, and I glanced up at the large structure of the Home Office as I got into my car. Would it be the last time I saw it? I doubted it and figured Lester would have paperwork for Claudia and I to fill out before we left for the ARC, but would I ever see the place again after we moved to the new facility? I hated the Home Office, but it would be strange never walking inside again and feeling the familiar dread as I approached Lester's office. I waited for Claudia to get in the car before pulling off, and I then let thoughts of Lester and the Home Office slip from my mind.

**Lester's P.O.V. (One week later)**

"So that's it then? We're free to go?" Abby asked after they'd all signed numerous sheets of paper.

"Yes, you're now officially members of the Anomaly Research Centre," I replied, faxing the signed papers to the minister. "You can go now," I added when they still lingered in my office.

"I'd say it was nice knowing you but I'd be lying," Stephen said as his parting words. And with that, he walked out of my office.

"Maybe we'll see you again sometime," Abby said, and Connor nodded.

"Let's hope not," I said, and with matching eye rolls, they too left my office.

"You can come with us, you know. It's not too late to change your mind," Nick said.

"I don't want to go with you. Odds are, as busy as all of you will be, we'll never see each other again and that sounds just fine to me," I lied.

Because honestly, I would miss my team. All of them. Even Connor, as stupid as he acted most of the time. They were a team of fumbling, amateur idiots, but they were _my_ fumbling, amateur idiots. I'd been the one to lead them alongside Cutter, the one to keep their heads on straight. As far as they knew, I hated them, but that was a lie as well. When I had first encountered them, I'd intensely disliked them, but I didn't hate them. Not that it mattered now anyways. Just like I'd told Cutter, I would probably never see them again. They would still be in London, but they would never have a reason to return to the Home Office.

"Fine," he shrugged. "I'll see you around then," he said, but I could tell from his voice that he knew just as well as I did that we'd most likely never see one another again.

"Believe it or not, it was nice working for you," Claudia said.

I gave her outstretched hand a firm shake before releasing it, and she nodded to me before leaving. I sat down behind my desk and started looking over the list of people that the minister had suggested to replace her. He'd wanted her to be the media liaison for the ARC, leaving me minus an assistant. None of the people looked suitable, but I supposed I would just have to find someone. I marked a couple of names that I would go back and do some further investigating on later.

"Have fun being a government hatchet man," Nick called over his shoulder as he walked out of my office behind Claudia.

"Have fun getting paid to be the Nutty Professor," I called in response.

Once I knew they were out of the Home Office, I walked out into the lobby and then over to the windows. From there, I could see the team standing clustered by Cutter's car, talking animatedly. I watched as they slowly dispersed and got into their own cars. Abby and Connor got into hers, Claudia gave Nick a quick parting kiss before leaving, and Stephen and Nick got into the latter's large silver pickup truck. I couldn't fully repress a small pang as they pulled out. I wanted to slap myself for acting like a puppy staring out the window as its owner leaves it behind, but there was a fractional part of me that longed to go with them. I immediately told myself to straighten up and stop being so stupid.

Yet even as I told myself this, I couldn't tear my gaze from the window. I watched until their cars disappeared from sight, and it left me with a hollow, empty feeling when I could no longer see them. _Well, there you go James, you can finally live a normal life without having to deal with dinosaurs and the merry little team of nitwits on a daily basis, _I thought wryly. I decided once I got home that I would call my wife just for the hell of it.

I turned around and walked back into my office, mentally saying farewell to my surrogate, dysfunctional family. Because I would never see them again. And if I was being honest, then yes...I was going to miss them.

"_I'm thankful for my years spent with this family. For everything we shared, every chance we had to grow. I'll take the best of them with me, and lead by their example wherever I go. A friend told me to be honest with you, so here it goes. This isn't what I want... but I'll take the high road. Maybe it's because I look at everything as a lesson. Or because I don't want to walk around angry. Or maybe it's because I finally understand. There are things we don't want to happen, but have to accept. Things we don't want to know, but have to learn. And people we can't live without, but have to let go." _~Jennifer Jareau


	23. I'm Reaching For You

_"Between the noise you hear, and the sound you like, are we just sinking in an ocean of faces?" _~OneRepublic

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

"This place is _awesome_!" Connor cried happily as he looked around the expansive main room of the ARC.

Staff milled about, one of them taking my arm and telling me they would take me to my new office. She guided me into a spacious office that had everything I would possibly need. A massive computer setup, an L-shaped glass topped desk, a black leather desk chair, a matching black leather couch in one corner, and a wall of windows beside my desk. The latter reminded me fondly of the Home Office, and it made me feel a bit more at home. I thanked the staff member and sat down behind my desk.

Before I'd even gotten a chance to log on to the computer and get used to the complicated looking technology, another member of the staff wandered in and told me I was needed in the main room. I had a feeling this job was going to be profoundly exhausting. Nick gave me a sympathetic smile when I reached the main room, and I assumed he was being drug around in all directions just like I was. I glanced up to see a man coming down a ramp that led to an office on the second floor.

"Nice to meet you everyone. I'm Philip Burton, I'll be your supervisor," he said, walking over to stand in the center of the room.

I disliked him instantly. Something about his overly arrogant stride and the way he spoke suggested that he was going to treat us all like small children. I knew that was an awfully quick assumption to make after he'd spoken only one sentence, but something about him set me on edge. I had a feeling we would butt heads quite frequently. I glanced over at Nick, and he let out a small exasperated sigh that silently communicated that he shared my opinion. He leaned over and whispered quietly in my ear.

"I never thought I'd say this, but I want Lester back," he murmured, his voice too low for anyone to hear but myself.

"Sadly, so do I," I whispered back, glad that the new supervisor was too distracted scolding Connor for tinkering with one of the computer setups to notice our whispered conversation.

Shaking my head exasperatedly, I walked over to Burton and extended my hand when he was done scolding Connor. I really wanted to slap the hell out of Burton because poor Connor looked like a kicked puppy, but I knew I had to keep it professional in spite of wanting to injure him for giving Connor a very harsh and unnecessary lecture.

"Claudia Brown," I introduced myself.

"Nice to meet you Claudia. I've heard very good things about you," he said, giving my hand a quick shake before withdrawing his hand. I nearly scoffed at him. The imperious tone of voice he used made me want to slap him again.

"I hate to cut the introductions short Mister Burton, but I need to go make some phone calls," I said curtly, and then turned on my heel and walked off.

Once I was resituated in my office with the door closed, I dialed a number and put the phone to my ear. I'd decided to make this phone call the second I'd seen the new lead yell at Connor, something that had infuriated me to no end. He'd only been poking and prodding at the computer, being his usual nerdy self, and Philip had done everything short of screech at him. I drug my thoughts back down to earth when a familiar voice rung out from the other end of the line.

"James Lester."

I breathed a sigh of relief when he answered. I hadn't really wanted to try to reach him through a secretary.

"James, we have a problem. His name is Philip Burton, he is our supervisor at the ARC, and if I have to deal with him for five more minutes I am going to end up in prison for murder," I explained as calmly as possible.

"I take it you don't like him?" he asked, his words laced with boredom.

"He's an arrogant, pompous, patronizing ass," I said tartly.

"Sounds a bit like me," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "He's hell in Armani."

"Hm, that's an American brand…I always preferred my suits Italian," he said absently.

"The country is irrelevant! There is no way I am working under this man," I said.

"Well what would you like me to do about it?" he replied irritably.

I bit my lip. This was where it got tricky. How on earth was I going to convince him to come to the ARC with us? I'd never particularly liked him but I would prefer working for him to working for Burton. Now the million dollar question was if I could even convince him to come. Not to mention he'd have to get the minister to let him replace Burton. My idea was looking more and more undoable by the minute.

"We want you here at the ARC," I finally blurted out. I heard him sigh quietly before he spoke.

"You must be joking me."

**Nick's P.O.V.**

"Hey, don't worry about it, the new guy is just an asshole," I reassured Connor as we sat in my office. He'd gotten really upset by the lecture and was now wondering if I'd made the right decision in bringing him with me to the ARC. It was terrible seeing my friendly, outgoing student so depressed.

"But what if he's right and I'm too much of an amateur to be interfering with the computers?" he asked, and I knew right then that I hated Philip Burton. He'd made Connor doubt his abilities with a computer, something I didn't even know was possible.

"Don't even consider that. We need you, you're a vital part of this team," I said. When he still looked doubtful, I said, "There are a handful of people in the whole world who-"

"Knows what's going on here, what we are grappling with. And I'm one of them," he finished for me.

I blinked, surprised he remembered the speech I'd given him after Tom had. He not only knew it, but he could recite it verbatim. I smiled slightly, realizing how much the young man before me had matured. He picked at his already practically nonexistent fingernails, but I could tell from the way his shoulders had relaxed a little that he was feeling a bit more reassured now.

"Thanks for talking to me, Professor," he said, giving me a small nod before rising to his feet and leaving to go find his own office. I made a mental not to remind him someday that I wasn't technically his professor anymore.

I started unpacking boxes of things I'd had in my office at the university, putting my knickknacks and smaller fossils on the expansive bookshelves that were in my office. I had went and resigned from my teaching position after assuming my position here at the ARC, but the more I learned about the staff, the less I believed in the usefulness of this place. We weren't doing anything here that we hadn't been doing at the Home Office. My musings were interrupted when Claudia stuck her head into my office, and I looked up from the box I was unpacking.

"Claudia Brown," I greeted her with a warm smile.

"I have very good news," she announced, smiling happily and doing a little twirl. I raised an eyebrow; she was acting very un-Claudia like.

"This must be good," I said, leaning against the wall.

"Oh it is," she agreed. "He has to clear it with the minister, but I talked Lester into coming back."

I moaned and gave a small grimace, unwilling to show I was happy that he was coming back. "I thought you said this was a good thing?" I joked.

"Who knows, maybe this whole ARC thing won't be as bad as we thought," she said.

I sighed. "Maybe you're right."

She smiled and walked over, giving me the briefest, softest of kisses. She pulled away and leaned her head against my shoulder, and I wrapped my arms protectively around her slender waist. I ran my fingers lightly down her back, pressing my lips to the top of her head. Closing my eyes, I could barely believe that it had only been a few months since I'd thought I was dying. Now I knew that I would not only live, but I would have her. Always, if I had my way about it.

"_I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too? Does the feeling seem oh so right?" _~Air Supply

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Three things; first off, Merry Christmas! I hope you guys have a great one! Second, sorry it has been so long since I updated! I have been extremely busy, which leads me to number three: I am going on a short hiatus for the holidays and will be back January 1st. I will try to write some, but I doubt I will have much time, so I will see you guys in 2011 lol! I can barely believe 2010 is already over. **

**So Merry Christmas, Happy Early New Years, and thank you so much for reading, reviewing, and being awesome!**


	24. All Those Pretty Lights

**Author's Note:**

**Happy New Years everyone! I hope all of you had a great Christmas :-)**** I am now back from hiatus, and I will be writing one more chapter of this before ending it. I have also started a Stephen and Abby fic for my wonderful sister Danielle (drodgers89) because they are her OTP and it should be interesting to write something new for a change.**

**Okay, back on topic. This chapter is a bit overly literal, meaning it's a New Years chapter. But I was in the mood to write it, so here it is. Sorry for any OOCness, I've been having a touch of writer's block lately.**

**Thanks so very much for reading and reviewing!**

"_Oh and I wanna remember this night, and how my words never came out right. It's just my patience that keeps me alive, just like all those pretty lights. Just like all those pretty lights in the sky." _~Andrew Belle

**Claudia's P.O.V.**

"Don't be such a stick in the mud, it'll be fun," I assured Nick as we walked into the ARC.

Abby and me had planned a New Years party and he was wondering if it had been a good idea. Lester, who was now in charge of the team instead of Burton, had reluctantly agreed to let us use the main room for the party as long no one damaged anything or bothered him. He considered the latter the most important of the two. Snow drifted down onto the ground, coating the grass and making for an entrancing sight. As we walked, I only heard a sigh from Nick in response to my assurances.

"I think this'll be a good year," I added.

"Yeah, assuming we can somehow find sort of rational explanation for the anomalies, we need to know-"

I laid a finger over his lips, silencing him. "Don't stress over the anomalies so much, love. Just enjoy the party," I smiled, laughing when he gently kissed my finger as I pulled it away from his lips.

"Parties are more Stephen's thing than mine," he said.

"Well just for tonight, lighten up a little," I said, giving his arm a playful slap.

Within just a few minutes of our arrival, the main room of the ARC was alive with lights and music. Abby danced with Connor and then Stephen, before returning to Connor again. I lost track of how many times she switched from dancing with one to dancing with the other. I contently danced with Nick through many songs, and I didn't realize how long we'd been dancing until Connor announced it was time to count down to midnight. Nick rolled his eyes but didn't protest.

"Five…four…three…two…one!" Connor shouted excitedly.

As he said "one!" Stephen pulled Abby in for a long, lingering kiss that wasn't completely suited for public. Then again, I didn't have much room to talk, because Nick kissed me just as passionately. As the music and the just general feeling of liveliness overwhelmed me, I felt slightly lightheaded. In a good way, though. Everything felt so good, so right. I closed my eyes and saw so much before me; The faces of friends, the places I loved, the obstacles we had all overcome.

I felt Nick's arms circle me, and the images continued to play out. I saw my friends first. Connor, so hyper but so brilliant. Abby, so feisty and so fiercely protective of who she loved. Stephen, so arrogant yet so visibly willing to sacrifice himself and his own well being to keep everyone safe. Caspar, the one that had protected me when I was alone and afraid in the Prehistoric times. Even Lester, sarcastic and flippant maybe, but he'd been right there, ready to come back to the ARC when we needed him. And of all the people, I even thought of Joseph Noir, the strange, quiet doctor that Nick had become so attached to.

It was hard to believe how much not only my life, but _I_ had changed over the past year. I was so different from the civil servant that had first approached Nick in a bar, using him as her pretend boyfriend. I was such a different person now. No longer afraid of life, no longer scared of the creatures. Well, some of the creatures still frightened me, but not like they used to. These anomalies, and the danger they caused, had made me stronger. In spite of all the damage they had caused, I wouldn't change one second of my life in this past year. My feelings for Nick were mostly responsible for that, though.

**Joseph's P.O.V.**

I sat on the front steps of my apartment complex, watching the fireworks. I could see them being shot off in the distance, celebrating the coming of a new year. I had tried reading like I usually did this time of night, but I couldn't concentrate. I pulled off my reading glasses and tucked them into a pocket of my lab coat, absently observing the people walking on the sidewalks. Cold air bit into me through the thin material of my lab coat and dress shirt, but it didn't really bother me. I actually enjoyed the cold, and the snow for that matter.

"You're going to catch your death out here," laughed a voice nearby.

I glanced up to see a woman standing a few feet away, her features barely visible and only faintly illuminated by the streetlamps. Something about her voice was familiar, I just couldn't place it. I knew that I had never met this woman before, but something still struck me as familiar. I titled my head to one side like I always did when I was curious about something.

"I have a fairly well equipped immune system," I shrugged, brushing a lock of hair from my eyes.

She laughed again. "You're strange."

I couldn't hold back a small smile. "You're talking to a complete stranger and you're calling _me_ strange?" I said, and found myself laughing as well.

"You probably think I'm mental," she said, shaking her head before continuing. "It's been a long day and I was on my way home," she explained.

"By yourself?" I asked, not thinking it was too wise for a young woman to be walking home by herself this late at night.

She crossed her arms defensively. "What, you think I'm one of those women that can't take care of herself?"

I raised my eyebrows and got to my feet. "How am I supposed to know what kind of woman you are? I don't even know your name."

"Jenny," she said, extending her hand.

"Doctor Joseph Noir," I introduced myself, shaking her hand before releasing it.

"It's nice to meet you," she said. "Anyways, I should be getting home, my fiancé will be worried sick."

"Do you realize how many women have ended up in hospitals because they were attacked at night?" I asked.

"No, but if anyone attacks me, then this high heel is going in a very unkind place," she said curtly, motioning to her high heeled shoes.

"Let me walk you home," I offered.

"I'm fine," she said, turning to walk away.

I simply followed, walking next to her silently. She glanced over and gave an irritated sigh, but it wasn't until we walked under a brightly lit streetlamp that I really paid attention to her. It was…unbelievable. She looked exactly like Claudia. Her hair was a deep brown instead of ginger, but her face, her voice…it suddenly made sense why I'd found her voice familiar. She was Claudia Brown's doppelganger.

"You're staring at me," she commented, looking like she was in one of slapping me.

"My god…" I whispered, unable to stop staring.

"Alright, look here Doctor Pervert, you go the hell home! When I said that I thought you were going to catch your death, I didn't think you were going to follow me home and stare at me like some sort of science project. I am just fine to walk home by myself without the company of a strange and disconcerting doctor," she said, abruptly spinning around to face me as she spoke.

I just looked at her, waiting for something that required an answer. That entire rant had seemed quite rhetorical. She stared back at me, obviously waiting for some sort of reaction. When I didn't say anything, she just glared briefly before turning and walking away. I watched her, my head again tilted in curiosity. How could she and Claudia possibly look so vividly alike? It was uncanny and unnerving. But her fiery comebacks and different hair caused her to differ from who she looked so much like. _Alright, so there's two things so far that make her unlike Claudia. She's rude. Rude and not ginger._ Then I thought that I really must need sleep; My thoughts were getting stranger by the minute.

"Jenny," I said, catching up to her.

"What do you want now?" she asked irritably.

"Is your last name Brown, by chance?" I asked.

"No, it's Lewis," she replied.

"Hm."

"Goodnight Doctor," she said, her hostile tone making the dismissal perfectly clear.

"Goodnight Jenny," I said absently as I realized, in all of our bickering, we'd gotten to her house at some point.

She disappeared inside, and I continued to stare after her long after the door closed. It seemed completely impossible, yet there she was, a dead ringer for Claudia Brown. With a different last name, too. _Just wait until I tell Nick, _I thought, my mind muddled with confusion. It wasn't until I started walking back towards my apartment complex that I realized I was smiling faintly. Jenny Lewis amused me, with her hard headedness and attitude. I could tell just from the short bit we'd talked that she was far from identical to Claudia in personality. No, Jenny seemed to be a different person entirely. _I end up meeting some interesting people, _I mused as I glanced over my shoulder at her house.

"_This night is sparkling, don't you let it go. I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home. I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you." _~Taylor Swift


	25. Someday I Hope You Get The Chance

_"Lying here with you, listening to the rain." _~Edwin McCain

**Nick's P.O.V.**

I was sleeping soundly, Claudia laying next to me, when the sound of someone knocking at the front door woke me up. I sighed and rose to my feet, pulling on some clothes. I glanced at the clock, seeing that it read six-thirty in the morning. I narrowed my eyes. Who could possibly be here this early? I slipped out of the bedroom quietly, careful not to disturb Claudia. I ran my fingers through my hair in a useless attempt to make it lay down a little, but it still stood up in all directions.

I didn't even have the front door all the way open when Joseph walked in, looking absolutely frazzled. Actually, that may be an understatement. Deranged may be a more suitable word. His hair was in even more of a mess than usual, his eyes were bloodshot and ringed with dark circles, and his clothing was disheveled. He held something in his hand that looked like a picture, but I couldn't quite tell.

"Nick, we have a problem. A big problem. A major, enormous, strange, impossible, science-defying problem that is rude and not ginger," he said, his words coming out so fast I could barely understand him.

"Rude and not…ginger?" I repeated confusedly, staring at the young doctor like he'd lost every bit of his mind.

"Nope, definitely not ginger. It's just sort of…brown," he replied with a shrug.

"You do understand that you are making absolutely no sense?" I said.

"Yep," he confirmed with a nod. "Technically though, you can't expect me to make sense. Because ever since about twelve a.m. last night, nothing has been making sense. So if nothing has been making sense since then, I can't be logically expected to be making sense because that would be off pattern. Meaning, assuming I am staying on track with the fact nothing has been making sense, I am acting comparatively normal."

I walked off to go find Tylenol, simply because that entire statement had given me a headache.

**Jenny's P.O.V.**

I lay there on the bed, unable to sleep in spite of how early it was. I was still unnerved by my conversation with the strange, young doctor last night. Once he'd gotten a good look at me, he'd begun behaving…oddly, to put it mildly. He'd started treating me like some sort of science project. Something about him was just generally weird. Not his appearance, put his personality. He actually looked fairly normal to the naked eye, save for the unnaturally pale skin. No, it was his overly perceptive stare and quiet tone of voice that set me on edge.

To most females, I suppose he would seem quite normal. A little quiet maybe, but normal. Then again, the only thing most females would care about would be his looks. And even I had to admit that he was attractive. He was far from my type and I was engaged, but he was very good looking. Tall and slender with tousled hair…he could probably be a model if he wanted to.

"Something wrong, Jen?" my fiancé murmured sleepily.

"No, sorry if I woke you. Go on back to sleep," I said, and within five minutes, he was snoring.

**Joseph's P.O.V.**

"So Claudia has a…doppelganger," Nick said, bewildered.

"Exactly," I confirmed. I'd just finished explaining Jenny Lewis to him, and he was every inch as shocked as I'd been. He blinked slowly, running his fingers through his hair.

"Wow," he said.

I laughed, smiling somewhat crookedly. "That's what I thought too."

"So, what's she like?" he asked.

I leaned back, tilting my head. "Feisty. Strong. Independent. She is…" I trailed off, searching for an adequate word. Yet there seemed to be nothing in my vocabulary that could accurately sum up Jenny Lewis.

"Joseph?"

"Yes?" I replied.

"Do you…like her?" he asked, his eyes dancing with amusement.

"No! I mean, no, not like that…no," I stuttered, shaking my head.

"You have that look."

"What look?" I asked defensively, crossing my arms.

"That dazed, dreamy look," he said.

"I am not dazed and dreamy," I retorted.

"You like her, don't you?" he asked again.

"No, I do not like Jenny!" I repeated.

"Of course you don't," he said, clearly not believing me.

I just rolled my eyes and got to my feet, tucking the picture I'd shown him back in my pocket. I'd found her on Facebook, so getting a picture to show him hadn't been hard.

**Jenny's P.O.V.**

I walked into the small café, situating myself at the counter. I ordered a glass of tea and watched as people bustled through the crowded restaurant. Thankfully though, I'd worked with media for all of my career, so crowds no longer bothered me. I took a sip of sweet tea, glancing at the clock mounted on the wall. I had to meet a client in an hour but had wanted to get lunch first, so here I was.

I glanced around absently and nearly jumped out my skin when I saw the doctor sitting next to me. He looked downright distraught and slightly panicked. Judging from the bored way he picked at the hem of his black dress shirt, he hadn't even noticed I was there. But even though he looked somewhat bored, his eyes betrayed something between fear and panic.

"What is wrong with you?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

He glanced over and seemingly just then noticed my presence. "I suffer from severe claustrophobia," he explained.

"Then why are you in a crowded restaurant?"

"Because I'm meeting a friend here in half an hour and I'm early," he replied, tapping his fingers nervously against the surface of the counter.

I smiled, just slightly. I found his nervousness slightly amusing and almost…cute. I returned to sipping my tea and ordered a sandwich for lunch when the waitress came over. I looked at Joseph out of the corner of my eye, studying him. Now that it wasn't dark outside, I could make out his features more clearly. Black hair that brushed the back of his shirt collar, eyes faintly shadowed with dark circles as if he hadn't slept much lately, and fingernails that were ragged and obviously chewed. It was the eyes, though, that got my attention. Icy, piercing blue, surrounded with long, dark lashes. They had little flecks of dark blue in them, just a very faint dusting of them across the pale blue irises. Most would find him attractive, I found him a little bit disturbing.

"Why are you staring at me?" he asked quietly, his words almost inaudible in the loudness of the room.

I jumped, startled. I hadn't even known he knew I was watching him. He didn't look bothered, though. Just curious. He didn't seem the type to get angry easily. _How would you know? You don't even know this man, _I told myself, knowing I was jumping to assumptions far too early. I averted my gaze and pretended to suddenly be interested in the sleeve of my blouse.

"So, mysterious doppelganger, why won't you answer me?" he asked, his voice showing no trace of sarcasm.

"My name is Jenny, not 'mysterious doppelganger,'" I corrected. "Anyways, you just seemed a bit panicky," I said, hoping he would except the explanation.

"Oh you should see me when I get really panicky. This is nothing in comparison," he shrugged.

"How very comforting," I said sarcastically.

"Well I have mild bipolar, severe insomnia, and my mother was schizophrenic, so you can't very well expect me to be normal," he said.

"So I am sitting next to a schizophrenic with trouble sleeping and mood swings?" I asked, becoming more and more uncomfortable by the minute.

He laughed, a sound that was part amusing and part manic. "No, I don't have schizophrenia, my mother did," he clarified.

"Because that's so reassuring," I said, my voice again heavily laced with sarcasm. He just smiled as if he found the comment amusing.

**Nick's P.O.V.**

I walked into the café to see Joseph already waiting for me, talking to Claudia. No…Claudia was back at her flat. How was she…? Then I realized he wasn't talking to who I thought he was. I would bet anything that the woman sitting next to him was none other than Jenny Lewis. I felt my eyes lock on the two of them, shock spreading through me. Well, I now knew what Claudia would look like if she ever wanted to dye her hair brown.

I was snapped out of my trance by a familiar voice coming from behind me.

"You left your wallet back at my flat, I thought you might want it," Claudia said as she walked up next to me.

"Yeah…thanks…" I said absently as I tucked it into my pocket.

"What's wrong, love?" she asked, gazing up at me with worry.

I simply motioned to where Jenny sat next to Joseph, and I watched as her eyes widened. I put my hand on her shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. I could feel her tremble slightly under my touch, not that I could really blame her for her shakiness. She was staring at her exact replica, of course she would be shaken.

I glanced out one of the windows and saw Stephen and Abby walking, hand in hand, down the sidewalk together. She paused briefly to give him a quick kiss, leaning up on her tiptoes because he was so much taller. Smiling, he just put his arms around her waist and picked her up, letting her feet dangle a couple of inches off the ground as they kissed. I sighed, thinking of how lucky they were to have such an easy relationship.

"So this…this is what had you so distant when I got up this morning," she said in reference to when I had been very quiet after Joseph had left. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked.

"Because I didn't want to frighten you," I replied simply.

"You honestly didn't think I wouldn't find out eventually?" she laughed, but the sound was weak and fragile.

"Come on. Let's introduce ourselves," I said, nodding towards the counter.

She nodded and took my hand as we walked over, seeming to have regained her composure. When I reached Joseph and Jenny, I tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. He glanced up and then looked over at Claudia before flicking his gaze to Jenny. Apparently seeing the two of them, side by side, was a bit much to handle for him as well.

"Claudia Brown," she introduced herself, extending her hand to Jenny. Claudia was blinking slowly, looking like she was trying her best to keep a strong front.

"Jenny Lewis," the other woman replied, giving Claudia's hand a firm shake. Jenny, on the other hand, was completely composed and not showing a bit of surprise. Joseph had mentioned earlier that she worked with the media, so I could only assume that she'd had a good bit of practice keeping at not showing any emotion.

Joseph and I just stared at each other in disbelief. I'd heard of twins, I'd even heard of Siamese twins, but _doppelgangers_?

"Well this is…interesting," he said.

"To say the very least," I agreed, nodding.

Then we both burst out laughing. Because it was crazy, and impossible, and it wasn't all that surprising. Dinosaurs, rips in time, why not doppelgangers? _Never a dull moment,_ I thought amusedly. Funnier still was that Claudia and Jenny seemed to be getting along great. I decided that maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Maybe the ARC, the anomalies, the doppelgangers…maybe it would all be fine. I wasn't a generally optimistic person, but I'd survived thinking I had cancer, so why not take on some unexplainable phenomenon while I was at it. I had Claudia, I had my friends, I had more than enough to get me through it. And as I stood there next to a batty young doctor, the love of my life, and her doppelganger, I decided that maybe living like you were dying wasn't such a bad thing after all.

"_He said 'Someday I hope you get the chance, to live like you were dying.'" _~Tim McGraw

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Hello everyone! This is the last chapter, so I would like to thank every single reviewer, regardless if it was just one review, that has given me advice and encouraged me to continue! Thanks to drodgers89, rattychipmunk, Squabble, Kathryn Hart, R2R (anonymous), CakeyxClickx, sopheezmum, L (anonymous), PrimevalChick, and Stephanieella96! All of you are just amazing :D **

**I will now be writing a Stephen/Abby fic for my sister Danielle if anyone would like to check it out. I would continue my pointless ramblings, but since you all are probably ready to die of boredom, I will just give one last thank you to everyone that has read and reviewed! I couldn't have done it without you guys!**


End file.
